Maltese Dogs Forum : Spoiled Maltese Forums banner

1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,652 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
<span style="font-family:Optima">Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.

He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."

The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more darn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."</span>
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
13,652 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
<span style="font-family:Optima">A Texas Panhandle rancher and his wife were bickering while on holiday
in France. They were still hardly speaking to each other after being seated
in a fancy French restaurant for dinner.

When the waiter arrived the rancher said: "I'll have a big,
thick porterhouse steak."

The waiter replied: "Monsieur ... what about ze mad cow?"

To which the rancher replied, "She'll have a salad."</span>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,840 Posts
Both of those were baaad!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
860 Posts
I did have a poodle her name was Sexy and boy did I get the heads turned when I would call her to. I had her over 15 yrs died of a very large tumor sure miss my Sexy still today .
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,486 Posts
Where are you getting this stuff??????
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,428 Posts
The "Dog Named Sex" was printed years ago in an Ann Landers article. My brother loves it. Before I got Lexi I had sent out an email to my family asking their opinions on some names. He decided he didn't like any of the names I had on the list and sent me that article instead. LOL I told him I was never going to ask for his opinion again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,856 Posts
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Top