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Ok ladies, I have a question.... Why is it so hard to find a GOOD female friend? My best friend for the past 8 years is a guy, love him to death but it's just not the same when you want to have a "girls night". I do have one female friend, as well, I love her to death although she is SO undependable, never follows through with plans and usually negative. For my sake and my bf's I want a good girl friend, why oh why is this so hard? I'm a nice girl... a little boyish at times but at least I'm not flakie. But I'm 24 so I feel I'm at the end of the years to make new friends, and when I'm 36 I want to have dinner with my good friend ________ . Do I sound crazy?
 

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lol, all of my very best friends are guys, no I'm so help
I always wondered what it was about me, but guys always just consider me 'one of the guys'
I mean I've witnessed fart contests, conversations about their girlfriends and all the little private details that go along with them, and anything else you can imagine...My best girlfriend is also not good with commitments. We never make plans because there's no point, she won't follow through with them
 

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Originally posted by Jolie@May 31 2005, 01:56 PM
Ok ladies, I have a question.... Why is it so hard to find a GOOD female friend?  My best friend for the past 8 years is a guy, love him to death but it's just not the same when you want to have a "girls night".  I do have one female friend, as well, I love her to death although she is SO undependable, never follows through with plans and usually negative.  For my sake and my bf's I want a good girl friend, why oh why is this so hard?  I'm a nice girl... a little boyish at times but at least I'm not flakie.  But I'm 24 so I feel I'm at the end of the years to make new friends, and when I'm 36 I want to have dinner with my good friend ________ .  Do I sound crazy? 

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No, you are not foolish. It's wonderful to have that special friend to share with. As you mature, have children, and other interests, you will probably develop friendships with those who have similar interests. Some of these stay, and some move on as your interest changes. Those who have that special friend through life are really blessed.
My two best friends live three and four hundred miles away. This does not keep us from visiting, as well as talking on the phone several times a day. I will say that I'm closer to either of these ladies than I am my own sister. Both my friends are as crazy about dogs as I am, so that is how we met.
Good luck to you in this special quest.
 

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Originally posted by littlepeanut@May 31 2005, 11:01 AM
lol, all of my very best friends are guys, no I'm so help
I always wondered what it was about me, but guys always just consider me 'one of the guys'
  I mean I've witnessed fart contests, conversations about their girlfriends and all the little private details that go along with them, and anything else you can imagine...My best girlfriend is also not good with commitments.  We never make plans because there's no point, she won't follow through with them

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Wow.... ME TOO! I don't feel so bad, I always though girls just don't like me. And it's funny when the boy are about to do something and look at me and say... It's only Meghann, she's one of the boys, then proceed to do what ever gross thing they feel neccesary.
 

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I feel ya. When I was around 18-20, I hung out with alot of people and I thought I had a couple "best" friends. But yeah, they suck and so now I don't have too many friends. It's ok...More friends, more problems. My real true friends are mainly family who are close to my age. There is not many people who I can truly let myself go with and be crazy and laugh so hard with. There are not too many people I can talk to about personal stuff but with my family. I had a gf who told people personal stuff about me after we werent friends anymore. How immature!
 

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When I was in my 20s I only have a few so call friends. The ones that where there when the time was right for them, or they wanted something.

In my 30s we started dirt track racing. I would always sit in the grand stands and watch hubby race. The same people were there every sat night and so I started talking to a few of them. To make a long story short...I met a couple that were 5 years old them hubby and I. They had no children, like us. We became really good friends and even have gone on many vacations together. He's like a bother to us and she a sister. We have dinner with them every Sat. night and love it. She is the one I called in the middle of the night when Puddles need the ER vet and they drove me (not my family). They are Puddles God-Parents also. They will always no matter what be our friends. Love them dearly. We both are just a phone call away and we know we can depend on each other. Its been 17 years now since meeting them.

So, don't worry about it to much. It will happen in time and the right person will come along. One you can share secrets with and know they are sealed.

P.S. after reading the above, I'm telling my age. :D
 

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Friends are all around, just waiting to be discovered. Keep your heart and mind open, and allow for possibilities. As was said earlier, I too have found that friends "happened" during particular times in my life, such as nursing school, child rearing, work, etc. People seem to find each other during times of similar circumstances, and can either stay forever or leave as you grow apart. I still have my best friend from when I was 15. We live a continent apart now, but are still there for each other. Just be sure to give all you can of yourself, and you will get far more in return.

Meantime, please know that you have us here for support!
 

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Originally posted by Jolie@May 31 2005, 11:56 AM
Ok ladies, I have a question.... Why is it so hard to find a GOOD female friend?  My best friend for the past 8 years is a guy, love him to death but it's just not the same when you want to have a "girls night".  I do have one female friend, as well, I love her to death although she is SO undependable, never follows through with plans and usually negative.  For my sake and my bf's I want a good girl friend, why oh why is this so hard?  I'm a nice girl... a little boyish at times but at least I'm not flakie.  But I'm 24 so I feel I'm at the end of the years to make new friends, and when I'm 36 I want to have dinner with my good friend ________ .  Do I sound crazy? 

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I think b/c girls are more competitive than boys. Most of the time, girls seem so nice in front of ur face but they talk bad behind ur back. Girls always want to be better than their friends, they try and flirt with their friend's boyfriends, they are just catty in general.
 

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Real friends are very rare. Over the years I have known lots and lots of people but can count on one hand the ones I am still in contact with. They are friends, but would I call them intimate friends ? No. The year we got married, we started a friendship with another couple. The girl went to school with me. We are still friends today. She is the godmother to my daughter and I am the godmother to her daughter. But they live in another part of the world and we are not in contact as often as I would like. Then 2 years ago we had a class reunion and I re-started a friendship with a girl (I should say lady at the age we are) I was friend with at age 17. We lost track of each other even before we got married and I not even remember why. But she too is an ocean a way. She came to visit and we sent each other e-mails. We used to be friends here with another couple. But then they got divorced. Now we see only her. But since she is single again, she is more interested in being around other single people. So we don't see her that often anymore. The other single female friend I had here just moved to Arizona. All my friends are somewhere else.
 

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I agree that true blue friends are a blessing when they come along. My very best friend and I have been friends since the 1970s. We were friends when we both were married and met through our husbands. I'm divorced and she's still married but we're still friends. And we joke about the fact that we are total opposites: I eat healthy; she doesn't. I don't smoke and hate the smell of it; she smokes; I drink tea or decaf; she drinks caffeinated; I drink San Pelligrino; she drinks Diet Coke; I'm politically liberal; she's politically conservative. I live in town; she lives on a ranch; I'm a vegetarian; she eats beef from the cows on her ranch (yuk!!); I would never own a gun; she has her very own; I don't believe in hunting animals; she doesn't mind it at all; I won't wear fur; she has several fur coats. I find it amazing that we are friends!! But we both love Broadway plays, movies, shopping and dogs so I guess that keeps us together. There is just a bond there that is hard to describe.

I met another friend from a women's professional group I belong to. We were friends since 1988. She died earlier this year from kidney disease. I still have not deleted her name from my cell phone and I read her old emails and treasure each one. It really hurts to lose a friend like that.. Her death was not expected... she came home from dialysis and pretty much dropped dead.

I have a two friends in Knoxville that I grew up with and have been friends with since seventh grade and we've kept up with each other since High School graduation. There is nothing like an old friend who knows where you came from, your family, etc. They're coming to visit me at the end of June...


I have another friend who lives in Sarasota now who I've been friends with since I was one year old... Our mothers were very best friends, our fathers were best friends and our grandmothers were best friends. She and her husband came to visit last year and I burst out crying when I saw her... I love her so much.

I met another friend when we served on the Mental Health Association board together. I think that is a great way to meet friends... to join groups and you'll find people with interests similar to yours. When you see someone who seems interesting, invite them to your home for dinner and see if you "click". Sometimes you can meet new friends at your place of employment. I have a couple friends at work but they are not as deep as the friendships I have outside of work.

I'm glad you started this thread... I had not realized how much I treasure these great ladies and how lucky I am to have them in my life. There should be a Friend's Day... like Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc.
 

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You know what? I think you'd be surprised to know how many women feel like you do. Making friends is really hard!

What are your interests (besides Malts
)? What do you like to do? Are there any activities in your community that you could join? Do you work? Where do you live (I think you're Canadian, right?)? How long have you lived there?

Perhaps some answers to these questions would help us think of ways to get you out meeting other ladies!
 
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Girlfriends can be great! I didn't start meeting people until after my first husband left. At the time I was really feeling out of step with the world, but ended up meeting a girl at a party that a date took me to. We ended up chatting for hours because we had a life time of stuff to say, that was 23 years ago and we're still best buds! You may meet lots of people in your life time, but you only keep the special ones for ever.

I don't have tons of girlfriends, but I really enjoy the ones I have. Last October I had a girlfriend move in with my husband and me when she got too sick to take care of herself (she had terminal cancer). I took care of her every day until she died in March. It was a tough job, but she didn't have any family around...who else was there? I was her friend.

After she died, another very good girlfriend treated me to a cruise in the Caribbean, where we floated around in the beautiful water, drank Margaritas and laughed alot. We both agreed that it's better to go on a cruise with girls, because you can do what ever you want without hurting a husbands feelings when you don't want to tour the Myan Ruins for eight hours...

Don't worry about meeting a girlfriend, it will happen and you'll have a ball chatting about everything. Just be yourself and you'll be fine!
 

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Originally posted by Kallie/Catcher's Mom@May 31 2005, 07:08 PM
There is nothing like an old friend who knows where you came from, your family, etc.

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This statement is SO true!!!
I have ONE friend from highschool that I still keep in touch with, even though we are nine hours away. She and I have been best friends since the FOURTH grade!
We had our moments when we went to college separately and we grew apart for awhile, but she knows more about me and knows me better than anyone else except my sister....she even knows more about me than my husband, because she lived those junior high/high school years with me. She understands my history and where I came from much better than my poor husband EVER could. -_- I am SO thankful for her these days...with personal stuff going on in the family...she is a rock that I can turn to and she "gets" it.

In college, I made some GREAT sorority friends. They are like sisters to me. Although since college most of us have gone our separate ways and live several hours apart, I know if I ever needed anything, all I would have to do is pick up the phone...and they would be there! A few of them live in the same town as I...(a very small town)...they are all a blessing...but I still don't feel like a have a true BEST friend...just lots of good ones! Does that make sense? Most of the friends that I have had recently have turned out to flake on me or stab me in the back. I am just not like that. I can't stand "fair-weather" friends! -_- Sometimes I feel lonely...I miss having a girlfriend to just run to the mall with or hang out...whatever...But I am SO busy with my family, church, work, etc...that I guess there is probably not time for that anyway.

So, I treasure my GOOD friends and the love and memories that we all share.
My sister is probably one of my best friends and I miss her SO much that my heart aches sometimes! I can't stand being so far away from her!
K-now I am crying...


I guess I rambled...don't know that I made any sense or helped anyone.
 

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Girls can be catty.
I grew up with my best friend at the time which was a boy, until i hit freshman year of high school... then i didnt really have anyone... i only have 3 friends that are girls... and sometimes we arent that close either because of the cattness (did i spell that right?) factor.


But we are ALL FRIENDS HERE!
 

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I remember the year my husband died and I was in such shock, I had wonderful friends...who stuck by my side and took care of my mental health...I had what I thought were friends, who would not even look at me ( I still can't believe that, but was told by many a therapist that people think if it can happen to you...it could happen to them so if they are not near me they don't have to think of it) and I had people who I thought were great aquiantances who turned out to be true gifts from God.

Anyway, I signed up for a full load of college courses about six months later and did wonderful...with a 4.0 grade point average (still have that), but at the end of the semester, I did not meet one person...I was so sad and this added to my feeling like I had nothing. I had to have major surgery that summer (yes, it was a very bad year) and I recouped by the pool at my condo's and in that time I had much time to think...and I realized that it was I who had closed myself off from everyone, so no one would approach me. The very next semester, I made three wonderful friends within the first week...I put myself out there and in doing so I was approachable and I still have wonderful memories of going to school during the day with a bunch of youngens...who took me in like I was one of them...(one sweet boy argued with me about my having an 8 year old).

I know what you mean about it being hard to meet girlfriends...I have again been going through a patch of roughness in my life and I again seemed to close myself off, and would not have made a good friend although my true friends are just that true friends who are still there for me, one lives about 3 hours from me and tow are closer in distance and will not accept my begging off of things making me come out and play
....I am just now again starting to open myself back up and I am determined to meet wonderful girlfriends.

And a man would not hurt either....


Susan
 

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I have always had girlfriends. I'm the type of person who usually has a couple of close friends. They've changed through the years - high school, college, other wives while my hubby was in dental school, mothers of my daughter's friends, PTA friends, tennis friends, etc. 4 years ago we moved back to MS after having been gone for more than 20 years. My neighbor since the 7th grade still lives here. She was my sorority sister, college roomie and is the godmother of my oldest daughter. She isn't a writer so we've kept in touch sporatically through the years. When I came back here it was as if the years melted away. We go to lunch about 3 times a week and talk on the phone several times a day. She is really different from me. She is flighty and kind of spacey and can be undependable. I learned long ago that you can't change people so you either accept them for what they are, or you move on. I'm sure that I have shortcomings too, so I love her for who she is. She has been a wonderful friend while I've adapted to the empty nest and being in a place where I haven't really kept in touch with people. Luckily my husband and her husband knew each other from college so we all get along great.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
Originally posted by Angus@May 31 2005, 04:56 PM
You know what? I think you'd be surprised to know how many women feel like you do. Making friends is really hard!

What are your interests (besides Malts 
)? What do you like to do? Are there any activities in your community that you could join? Do you work? Where do you live (I think you're Canadian, right?)? How long have you lived there?

Perhaps some answers to these questions would help us think of ways to get you out meeting other ladies!
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Ok then, (i fell like this is a dating service for friends, hehe)
I like to go for hikes, walks and camping, really anything outdoors. Born and raised in Vancouver, BC, I mostley hang out with my family. I work downtown Vancouver and the majority of my co-workers are much older then me, other then a few and low and behold they are GUYS! (and we get along great) The things Gabriel (my spouse) and I do are the following... climbing, paragliding and sailing. Although these are all things Gab got me into so I feel I should meet someone out side of our activitys. My self, I'm interested in... well I don't know! Thats why I want a buddy. Oh, we are planning to adoped a child in the next 4 years!!!! That is my biggest interest!

Thank you ladies!!!!
You Rock!
 

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Originally posted by Teddyandme@May 31 2005, 11:11 PM
I remember the year my husband died and I was in such shock, I had wonderful friends...who stuck by my side and took care of my mental health...I had what I thought were friends, who would not even look at me ( I still can't believe that, but was told by many a therapist that people think if it can happen to you...it could happen to them so if they are not near me they don't have to think of it) and I had people who I thought were great aquiantances who turned out to be true gifts from God.

Anyway, I signed up for a full load of college courses about six months later and did wonderful...with a 4.0 grade point average (still have that), but at the end of the semester, I did not meet one person...I was so sad and this added to my feeling like I had nothing.  I had to have major surgery that summer (yes, it was a very bad year) and I recouped by the pool at my condo's and in that time I had much time to think...and I realized that it was I who had closed myself off from everyone, so no one would approach me.  The very next semester, I made three wonderful friends within the first week...I put myself out there and in doing so I was approachable and I still have wonderful memories of going to school during the day with a bunch of youngens...who took me in like I was one of them...(one sweet boy argued with me about my having an 8 year old).

I know what you mean about it being hard to meet girlfriends...I have again been going through a patch of roughness in my life and I again seemed to close myself off, and would not have made a good friend although my true friends are just that true friends who are still there for me, one lives about 3 hours from me and tow are closer in distance and will not accept my begging off of things making me come out and play 
 
....I am just now again starting to open myself back up and I am determined to meet wonderful girlfriends.

And a man would not hurt either....
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Susan
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Dont worry Susan you will be meeting new people that have something in common with you through the South Jersey Maltese meetup!! We have a member that sounds like she has a lot in common with you. She lost her husband also. I dont know the full details but my sister knows her and refered her to our group! If you look at your invite her name is Evie.
 
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