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BABY {4-25-22}, & KAR {1995 aprox.}
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I haven't felt I could even talk about this. I will finally do so now. These are the words I have feared & dreaded to say ever since we brought Baby home as a puppy 9 years ago...he would have been 10 in September 2022.....

On Monday April 25th at 1:00 am. Baby passed away in my arms.... before 'the drug' could be administered... I felt his last breath... I felt his precious life leave him forever....

There is a giant hole in my heart & nothing is important to me anymore, life has no meaning. I don't really feel alive and don't think I ever will again I am only just existing. I can't sleep I can't eat I've lost 14 lbs...the silence is deafening. Our house is empty & it is only filled with death. I miss Baby, think of him constantly, everything reminds me of him our lives were so intertwined. He slept every night in the crook of my belly...or the small of my back, or right next to my head...He was my child. Our family is no longer complete...Baby's presence gone, has left a giant void. His life was cut short and he was cheated out of living his life by immune mediated bone marrow disease with a hopeless prognosis. I am incredibly sad for him, he loved his life, he loved us, he was a being of light and love a gift from heaven. We tried so hard since February when he got sick to save him... I am pouring tears as I type this....

I haven't posted in a long time, 'life' got in the way. Sadly, 'death' has brought me back here.... I knew Maltese mommies & daddies would understand.

Sandy

~Baby, my beautiful precious boy~

Head Dog Eye White Carnivore
 

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Kathy & Pipper
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Sandy I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I can totally imagine the pain you are feeling now. Sending you hugs
 

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Please accept my very heartfelt condolences upon the loss of your beautiful Baby!! And yes, I can certainly relate as many of us here on SM have gone through the same pain and hurt of loosing their precious Dog and or Cat.
 

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Sandi-- w/Kitzel (Kitzi) & Lisel (Lisi)
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Thomas Shepherd said on the death of his wife. . .
“Now life will be a little less sweet, death a little less bitter.”

We will walk this path of grief beside you. . . your sorrow will be none-the-less, but we will be here to affirm it. Please know that we understand your pain!
 
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Walter & Casper with Lucky (forever in my heart).
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I am so sorry. It may be little comfort to you now, but time does heal and Baby will live in your heart for ever. Sadness will be replaced by happy memories.
 

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I am so so sorry for you.
When I read your words, tears came to my eyes.
I went through that too a few months ago and it is so painful...
Sending you love and prayers 🧡
 

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Sandy, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved Baby. Sending love and hugs to you during this very sad time. R.I.P beautiful and forever in our hearts Baby ❤
 

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Hi I'm new here but I just wanted you to know how deeply sorry I am. I lost my heart and soul almost two months ago so I can relate to the pain and emptiness you are feeling. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that he loved us and he knew without a doubt that we loved him. I've been keeping a journal, in it I write letters to Bailey ( my fur baby) I tell him everything that is in my heart for him, it has helped a great deal knowing that I can still talk to him maby it can help you also. Again I'm so so sorry for you lose.💙
 

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BABY {4-25-22}, & KAR {1995 aprox.}
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful little dog. {{{{}}}}
Thank you. He was indeed beautiful, even more beautiful on the inside, than his angelically beautiful outside.

Please accept my very heartfelt condolences upon the loss of your beautiful Baby!! And yes, I can certainly relate as many of us here on SM have gone through the same pain and hurt of losing their precious Dog and or Cat.
Thank you for understanding. I'm sorry for the losses you and others here have gone through. Baby entered my heart, my life, and my soul...he became like part of me, the best part of me is missing now...

Thomas Shepherd said on the death of his wife. . .
“Now life will be a little less sweet, death a little less bitter.”

We will walk this path of grief beside you. . . your sorrow will be none-the-less, but we will be here to affirm it. Please know that we understand your pain!
Thank you Sandi, the Thomas Shepherd quote is very accurate for me. I can't find sweetness anymore at all... and death is very bitter ... it will only be less bitter if it means I will get to go be with Baby again in heaven. Thank you so much for your understanding and your support I very much appreciate them. I wonder if I can even live without him....he's the first I think of in morning, and last I think of at night....his illness and loss replay over and over throughout the night.


I am so sorry. It may be little comfort to you now, but time does heal and Baby will live in your heart for ever. Sadness will be replaced by happy memories.

Thank you Walter, and thanks for letting me know that. Healing seems impossible but I hope time will make a difference. Baby will always be in my heart. I have so many 'happy memories' of Baby. But at this time the bad ones from the two and a half months of hell at the end of his life are blocking out the good. I can't look at Baby's photos, they remind me of suffering, and of his loss. It was painful to post the photo in this thread. I dare not go into the room where all his many things have been moved to. Our house is decorated with is photos on walls they only remind me he is gone. But the 'empty' spot where his bowls used to be bother me too, even though I put his other things away, I see the empty places where they used to be....where he used to be... I can't make peanut butter sandwiches for my husband without crying for Baby...Baby loved peanut butter euphorically licked it off my finger....


I am so so sorry for you.
When I read your words, tears came to my eyes.
I went through that too a few months ago and it is so painful...
Sending you love and prayers 🧡
I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear little one... this pain we are feeling is indeed intense. Losing Baby is the worst pain I have ever felt in my life...that is saying a lot because I've lived a pretty rough life....loosing Baby is the absolute worst. Thank you for love and prayers, love and prayers to you too.


I am so terribly sorry! I know how special Baby was and will always be to you. My heart goes out to you!
Thank you. Baby was indeed so special, incredibly innocent, sweet, kind, loving. smart, sensitive, funny, cuddly, kissy, & good, the list goes on.... and on.... all of it good.
 

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BABY {4-25-22}, & KAR {1995 aprox.}
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Sandy, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know how much you loved Baby. Sending love and hugs to you during this very sad time. R.I.P beautiful and forever in our hearts Baby ❤
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I'm missing Baby terribly...
 

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LACIE, SUKI & LING LING ❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I'm missing Baby terribly...
Not sure why my profile on my post to you says my initials and not Maddysmom…so strange.
Anyway, again, I’m so, so very sorry for your loss 😪
 

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BABY {4-25-22}, & KAR {1995 aprox.}
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Hi I'm new here but I just wanted you to know how deeply sorry I am. I lost my heart and soul almost two months ago so I can relate to the pain and emptiness you are feeling. The only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that he loved us and he knew without a doubt that we loved him. I've been keeping a journal, in it I write letters to Bailey ( my fur baby) I tell him everything that is in my heart for him, it has helped a great deal knowing that I can still talk to him maby it can help you also. Again I'm so so sorry for you lose.💙
I'm so sorry you had to let your Bailey💙 go, I do understand your pain. I'm glad your journaling is helping you, thanks for your suggestion. I used to journal years ago, maybe I'll also try creating a journal just for Baby. I talk to Baby in heaven out loud sometimes usually during a barrage of tears. I tell him I miss him and I want him back. My husband and I will be attending a pet loss support group for the very first time this week, and we'll see how that goes, I'm concerned it might make me feel worse somehow. My husband and I are each reacting differently to Baby's loss. My husband is dealing with Baby's loss by mostly tries pushing down his feelings of sadness and grief, and he is instead feeling anger. He's had a few sobbing cries right along with me but is mostly remaining stoic. I on the other hand am in constant deep despair and sadness. We each grieve in our own way. We were told to bring Baby's photo with us when we go to the pet loss support group....😭
 

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I'm so sorry you had to let your Bailey💙 go, I do understand your pain. I'm glad your journaling is helping you, thanks for your suggestion. I used to journal years ago, maybe I'll also try creating a journal just for Baby. I talk to Baby in heaven out loud sometimes usually during a barrage of tears. I tell him I miss him and I want him back. My husband and I will be attending a pet loss support group for the very first time this week, and we'll see how that goes, I'm concerned it might make me feel worse somehow. My husband and I are each reacting differently to Baby's loss. My husband is dealing with Baby's loss by mostly tries pushing down his feelings of sadness and grief, and he is instead feeling anger. He's had a few sobbing cries right along with me but is mostly remaining stoic. I on the other hand am in constant deep despair and sadness. We each grieve in our own way. We were told to bring Baby's photo with us when we go to the pet loss support group....😭
I wish you and your husband all the luck in the world with the support group. I tell Bailey the same thing " I want you back, it's time to come home to me now" who knows maby they will🤷🏼‍♀️. I pray that if that's the case our precious babies will find us again. I'll be praying for you and your husband💙.
 

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Sandy, I am thinking about you and Baby. The support group sounds like a very good idea. It’s nice that your husband is going with you, too. I have been thinking about going to a support group, too.. I like the thoughts of journaling, too ... I do talk to Snowball a lot and, I think writing might help.
 
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