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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I really need to use lots of these headbangers.I just can not believe how my life is going.
Most of you know whats been going on with me,but let me tell you the latest....
The girl that has been working for me at the new shop,I had to fire.Saturday she called me when I was at the nursing home seeing my brother.I was going into the shop when I left there.She said she was sick and had closed up the shop and went home.I said Pam ,whats really going on????She replied,Sheila I have to go sign myself into detox.I said,,WHAT Pam I didnt realize you have a drinking problem.But dont worry,you have a beautiful little girl and if you have a problem get it taken care of for her and also your life.I will have your job waiting for you when you get out.Now when I hired her she told me someone had stolen all her tools etc. out of her car.So I went and bought her everything she needed(to the tune of almost $400.00) and told her she could pay me back a little at a time as she could afford it.I have also given her advancements on her paycheck several times as she was in a hole money wise.
Well let me tell you,,,,I got to the shop and the register was totaly EMPTY.....the safe was totaly EMPTY.....ALL the money was GONE

Im am SO STUPID and TRUSTING.You know when I was gone to Rockford when my brother was in ICU,she kept telling me it was slow at the shop.I told her not to worry,a new shop takes a while to get the traffic going.The whole time my daughter kept telling me..MOM she is stealing off you.I told her I didnt believe Pam would do such a thing.But it was kinda strange when I came home the new shop suddenly got busier
Since all this has happened I now believe she was indeed pocketing the money and telling me we werent busy.
Anyway after many phone calls Sat. she admitted she was doing drugs.I didnt call the police as many ppl. told me to do because of her daughter.Pams mom has breast cancer and has been getting radiation and she is unable to take care of Pams daughter.So me being me wouldnt call the police and told her I have to have the money back by Tues. or I will.So her Mom is going to give me the money and I told her not to unless she signs Pam into a drug treatment program to get help.I told her Mom I didnt expect her to replace the money and that I was so sorry she was going through all this.I feel so bad for her and her granddaughter.
So I am out the money for her tools and out the money for the advancements(she hadent paid it all back yet) plus I had to have new locks put on the shop aand pay for that being done.

I should have seen the signs I guess,but I just trust ppl. so much and its hard for me to believe that ppl. are that way.
Sorry this is so long you guys,I just had to vent and rant a bit
Dont know if this even makes sense

Anymore I wonder what I have done in my life to have all this happening to me.I thought I was a good person
 

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Oh Sheila...what a horrible thing to have happened! :eek:
Being betrayed by someone you trust is an AWFUL feeling that I know firsthand from several instances because I am a naive and trusting individual also.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. You have a wonderful loving soul and you will get your reward....just be patient.

I pray that you find some good out of this somewhere, even if it is that Pam gets help so her little girl does not have to grow up with a drug addict mom.
Big hugs to you...love ya girl...
 

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I am so sorry that you have so much happening to you right now. I don't know why so much bad keeps happening. Life is just not fair. And hindsight is 20/20. You know what you should have done, but you were trying to extend a helping had to someone. I hope that you won't let this one bad experience keep you from trusting the next person. I, like you, believe that people are good and deserve a chance.

Please try not to beat yourself up for doing what you thought was the right thing...
 

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omg. Sheila! I am listening and let me say it cannot have anything to do with *you* being trusting! I know how hard it is to find good people to work for you, and in that business you have to put your trust in someone. Its so sad that people will take advantage of someone helping them! Of course its so hard seeing a child being put through such a time too
I'm so sorry its raining so hard right now for you. I am starting to think that there has to be a bottom at some point and the only way to go now is UP! Hang in there!!
 

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I know this sounds harsh but you really should contact the police. You aren't helping HER by letting her off the hook. It doesn't mean that when push comes to shove you have to press charges. But making her be accountable for what she has done may be the best thing you can do for her.

It is very tough to be in situations likt this, you are soft hearted and you want to help but by letting her get away with it you are enabling her behavior you are not helping her to solve her problem.

Don't be hard on yourself, you didn't do anything wrong, it's ok to trust someone til they give you reason not to trust them. Good luck.
 

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OMG... I am sooo sorry to hear this. These things happen to the best of us. All of us are guilty, probably, of trusting someone at one time or another and they turn out to not be worthy of that trust. It has definitely happened to me. So, don't beat yourself up... live and learn and move on. I know you feel awful now and that is understandable....
 

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Originally posted by puppymom@Nov 14 2005, 05:30 PM
I know this sounds harsh but you really should contact the police.  You aren't helping HER by letting her off the hook.  It doesn't mean that when push comes to shove you have to press charges.  But making her be accountable for what she has done may be the best thing you can do for her. 

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119622
[/QUOTE]


I think I may have to agree with this...
 

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Originally posted by sheila2182@Nov 14 2005, 05:12 PM
 
I really need to use lots of these headbangers.I just can not believe how my life is going.
Most of you know whats been going on with me,but let me tell you the latest....
The girl that has been working for me at the new shop,I had to fire.Saturday she called me when I was at the nursing home seeing my brother.I was going into the shop when I left there.She said she was sick and had closed up the shop and went home.I said Pam ,whats really going on????She replied,Sheila I have to go sign myself into detox.I said,,WHAT Pam I didnt realize you have a drinking problem.But dont worry,you have a beautiful little girl and if you have a problem get it taken care of for her and also your life.I will have your job waiting for you when you get out.Now when I hired her she told me someone had stolen all her tools etc. out of her car.So I went and bought her everything she needed(to the tune of almost $400.00) and told her she could pay me back a little at a time as she could afford it.I have also given her advancements on her paycheck several times as she was in a hole money wise.
Well let me tell you,,,,I got to the shop and the register was totaly EMPTY.....the safe was totaly EMPTY.....ALL the money was GONE
 

Im am SO STUPID and TRUSTING.You know when I was gone to Rockford when my brother was in ICU,she kept telling me it was slow at the shop.I told her not to worry,a new shop takes a while to get the traffic going.The whole time my daughter kept telling me..MOM she is stealing off you.I told her I didnt believe Pam would do such a thing.But it was kinda strange when I came home the new shop suddenly got busier
Since all this has happened I now believe she was indeed pocketing the money and telling me we werent busy.
Anyway after many phone calls Sat. she admitted she was doing drugs.I didnt call the police as many ppl. told me to do because of her daughter.Pams mom has breast cancer and has been getting radiation and she is unable to take care of Pams daughter.So me being me wouldnt call the police and told her I have to have the money back by Tues. or I will.So her Mom is going to give me the money and I told her not to unless she signs Pam into a drug treatment program to get help.I told her Mom I didnt expect her to replace the money and that I was so sorry she was going through all this.I feel so bad for her and her granddaughter.
So I am out the money for her tools and out the money for the advancements(she hadent paid it all back yet) plus I had to have new locks put on the shop aand pay for that being done.
 

I should have seen the signs I guess,but I just trust ppl. so much and its hard for me to believe that ppl. are that way.
Sorry this is so long you guys,I just had to vent and rant a bit
Dont know if this even makes sense
 

Anymore I wonder what I have done in my life to have all this happening to me.I thought I was a good person

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119608
[/QUOTE]
YOU are a good person. it's your employee whom is not. I personally think you should press charges against her. Without consequences she will continue down this spiral ending up doing worse things or God forbid, one of her drug pals harms her daughter. Please reconsider. In my opinion you are not helping her by being kind. You are enabeling. You will still be a good person, of which you should feel proud. Who knows, she may even thank you one day. Wouldn't that be nice???
 

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I'm so sorry Shelia. I know how you feel, when it rains, it pours right? Things will get better for you. You are a wonderful person and everything will find it's way and come together for you. Take care of yourself and know that we are all here for you no matter what
 

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I am so sorry that this happened to you. I can tell by your words that this is not just about the money. You've done Pam a big favor by not going to the police. Let's hope she takes this opportunity to clean up her act.
 

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Originally posted by tlunn+Nov 14 2005, 05:33 PM-->
<!--QuoteBegin-puppymom
@Nov 14 2005, 05:30 PM
I know this sounds harsh but you really should contact the police.  You aren't helping HER by letting her off the hook.  It doesn't mean that when push comes to shove you have to press charges.  But making her be accountable for what she has done may be the best thing you can do for her. 

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119622

I think I may have to agree with this...

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119626
[/B][/QUOTE]


I also tend to agree with this. All the training I have had in nursing has taught us that you are enabling her addiction if you do not make her accountable for her own actions. I understand about Pams daughter and mother and maybe you would not have to press charges but possibly scare her enough to help herself. I am sorry you are going through this. Be strong, I will be praying for you.
 

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Originally posted by tlunn+Nov 14 2005, 05:33 PM-->
<!--QuoteBegin-puppymom
@Nov 14 2005, 05:30 PM
I know this sounds harsh but you really should contact the police.  You aren't helping HER by letting her off the hook.  It doesn't mean that when push comes to shove you have to press charges.  But making her be accountable for what she has done may be the best thing you can do for her. 

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119622

I think I may have to agree with this...

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=119626
[/B][/QUOTE]

I tend to agree with this also, if this person is allowed to go on her merry way think of what is going to eventually happen to that poor little girl. This woman needs to be made accountable now and stopped from doing the same thing to someone else. If she is allowed to go on making the same mistakes things are only going to be worse down the track and eventually she will be in worse trouble and that poor little girl is going to suffer more.
Sheila please don't ever feel bad for trusting people, that is just your kind heart, it isn't your fault, that person took advantage of your kindness and turned it against you. It's a shame she didn't learn something from you and mend her ways. Sadly though when people are addicted to substances their need overrides their priorities.
I am sure things are going to get better for you soon Sheila, just hang in there
 

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I am so sorry, these things shouldn`t happen to good trusting people but they do happen and the best thing you can do is report her to the police. She will not learn if she doesn`t realize that bad actions have bad consecuences. She will not be a good example to her daughter either if she keeps on stealing and lying.
I hope you find out a way to recover your money and i really hope that something like this doesn`t change the good person you are.
 

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i'm so sorry this happened to you!!! like the others said, YOU are a good person, beyond good! sometimes when trust is taken advantage of, it's hard to let other completely trustworthy people gain your trust... i hope pam gets the help she needs, and her daughter and mother are able to see a new and "well" pam soon. my brother is a recovering addict, and for him, his best opportunity came when he moved to florida to "get his act together" at my folks' house (in the middle of nowhere, btw). he found a job painting, with a contractor, new housing developments, etc, a far cry from what he'd been doing years ago (basically, BEING the contractor), and he has been doing awesome. we're all so proud, as it was very touch and go from the beginning, at one point i feared for my parents' lives, but my brother is doing awesome. i hope pam has the same recovery.

is there anyone on the board here who can go work for you? you know we would do right by you! i'm in search of a new job.... LOLOLOL



ann marie and the buttercup
 

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Gosh Sheila, you really are going thru more than one person should ever have to. I really hope things start going better for you really soon. I just want to say that you are a good person. You helped this lady in many ways when you didn't have to. I really hope she can get her act together soon. She is not being a good example to her child and I hope that her daughter doesn't follow her lead and get into drugs as well. I hope you are able to get your money back also. It's really sad that someone would do others that way. I'm very trusting and naive also. I know that things are rough right now, but I know God will reward you for your kindness some day...He knows you are a great person with a good heart. Hang in there. I will be praying that things get better for you from now on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thank all you guys for your kind words,it really helps me alot!

I have been thinking about what some of you have said about not contacting the police.I have a very good friend that is a Dectective on the police force here.I think Im going to call him and ask him if he would go talk to Pam and tell her unless she completes a drug treatment program that I will then press charges.I think you are all right about making Pam accountable for her actions.Im praying for her & her family so maybe by having him tell her that she will realize how close she is to going to jail unless she seeks out and completes a good program.She has to set a good example for Emily her daughter,even though Emily is young she knows whats going on with her Mom.Thank You all again,I love all you guys!

Ann Marie,how fast can you and The ButterCup get here!!!!!!
LOL
 

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I am glad you are going to contact your cop friend. My husband was in law enforsement for 28 years, he had many calls from friends needing his advise. I think she needs to be held accountable to you and to her daughter. If not she will only do it again. I wish I were close to you I am looking for a job.
I am anxious to see what you decide to do. Keep us posted.
 

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Sheila,

Please please please don't just think you are a good person....you are a good person. This person doing what she did which is just sad has nothing to do with the big heart you have.

You have tried to help this person and in doing that you have made yourself better than most of us. Just because she choose not to recieve that help in a way that would benefit her does not mean that you have not done wonderful kind helpful things. This person is sick and you helped her and somewhere deep inside she knows that. I am sorry that she has taken so much from you...none of us can afford to lose not only the money but for you the sense that you have helped and done something wonderful.

I pray that this lady gets the help she needs so that her daughter, mother and even she can live a better life. But, I also pray that by her doing what she did that you did not lose that incredible spirit of helping someone who really does need it...I am sure that if this person was not so sick, she would be thanking you for doing all that you did....too bad that she is not in a better place. We never know what our actions have on others though Sheila...you may have helped her daughter to see that there are people who care and you will never know what your kindness has meant to her. Maybe, you are the person who has shown the daughter the right way.

keep up the kind work.
 
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