Charmed/Perfect Life

2586 Views 29 Replies 24 Participants Last post by majik921, May 3, 2010

Lacie's Mom

Discussion Starter · Apr 19, 2010

Do you have friends, co-workers, relatives that you believe live a “charmed” life? Maybe you even are one of the lucky ones that live a charmed life.

For example, I had a co-worker whose position was eliminated with the nationwide Comcast reorganization. It just happened that the perfect position for him became available at just the right moment, and, although he and his wife had to relocate again, it was back to where their family is located. This same person was able to sell his house here within 1 week of listing it, and it sold for the asking price. He also found a house at his new location right away. This is a person who believes that his wife is the most wonderful person in the world and that he has wonderful (adult) children. He’s always positive and happy and upbeat.

So, does he have a charmed life because he’s truly blessed or because of his positive attitude?

Another example is my BFF. She has never aspired for too much in life. She has a nice husband, although it’s more of a friendship than a love match. She has a job, but has never wanted a “career”. She’s very content with her life and has a philosophy that everything happens for a reason, and that nothing that happens is BAD.

Again, is it her attitude that makes her life charmed?

I know that we all know people whose life we think of as perfect. I’m just wondering what I’ve done wrong as my life isn’t even close to perfect.

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Matilda's mommy

· #2 · Apr 19, 2010 (Edited)

Lynn, my life is alot like yours, alot of stress and let downs. I could let life get the best of me butttt I choose to look at those times of trial as valleys, in the valleys I grow in my faith and become a stronger person, just maybe I can help someone else when they are in the valleys. everyone of us will have good times and bad it's how we chose to look at it. Things will get better for you, your life has been put on hold for sometime, watch soon you will have the sunshine back. I love you my friend.
Your friend is blessed to have everything come together for him, I bet when he does have those valleys he still has the positive attitude and he is blessed

luvmyfurbaby

· #3 · Apr 19, 2010

Positive Attitude and I "try" to work on that everyday.:blush:

Hubby has a great positive attitude and sometimes I envy him but then like this weekend that my daughter totaled her car (she is just bruised up thank God) he was like things happen let's move forward and I'm like no wait all the ramifications, the lending of my car again, her car payment, the irresponsibility, she has to miss work, will she lose her job on and on and on. Maybe I'm a very big worry wart and that takes over my "positive" attitude but I try to work on it.:blink:

michellerobison

· #4 · Apr 19, 2010

My friends tell me I'm the kiss of death for luck. They always say how they win when they go to the casinos but when I go with them..they always loose. My husband will buy a scratch off on the way to work and win,but when I'm with him,he always looses....

I'm the person most likely to be killed by the toilet seat falling from the MIR space station....kinda like Georgia in "Dead Like Me" TV series... Only difference,I'm what my husband calls teminally upbeat... w/ my luck,I need to be....

camfan

· #5 · Apr 22, 2010

I wonder the same thing, Lynn.

Pete and I have had to work hard for everything we have. Nothing has ever been given to us. And, of course, there is some pride in that. But **** I wish we could catch a break. It's been a few years now that we are just getting by financially, then he got downsized, I had to give up being a SAHM to go back to work full time. Pete and I are ALWAYS stretched emotionally, physically and mentally.

After 18 months of doing this I'm finally accepting that yes, life can be hard (it is for a lot of people right now), and you can choose to focus on the good or focus on the bad--and you can actually learn to interpret the "bad" as a challenge instead of it being something negative.

I do get a bit pissed off (honestly) at those that seem to have it made and get by so easily. But I'm also learning not to compare myself. It's not easy!!

I tell ya, if and when we do catch a break I will be MORE THAN EXTREMELY GRATEFUL!!!

Hunter's Mom

· #6 · Apr 22, 2010

Lynne,

You really stirred my emotions with this one and I know I responded to you via PM but since then I have done even more self-exploration and have realized that sometimes I pretend to be Pollyanna because I have come to realize that is what my family and (in-person) friends expect of me. But, you are also my friend and you deserve an honest and truthful, from the heart, what I am really feeling answer so I will give it to you.

I DO feel like others have it so much easier than me and it bothers me and makes me wonder why my path is paved with bumps and turns while others have a beautiful straight path to follow.

I'm tired of being told these bumps and turns make me stronger - I don't need to be stronger. If I get any stronger even the Incredibly Hulk won't be able to hold me down (sad attempt at a joke I know!). I'm tired of being told that it happens to everyone - because it doesn't.

So yes Lynne, I think its 100% natural for people who feel struggle is their middle name or who feel as though the world is playing favorites and they are not one of them to feel frustration, hurt, anger, and an overall sense of "why me".

The answer to "why me" I don't have it. I don't think I ever will. I guess that's why I have simply tried to be a Pollyanna - I figure if I'm positive enough maybe, just maybe, someday I will be able to stop playing the "glad game" because my life will, all of the sudden, be charmed.

PS. thank you for letting me bare my soul, you probably just saved me millions as who knows how long it would have taken in some type of therapy to get to this point of self-awareness

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The A Team

· #7 · Apr 22, 2010

thanks for the reality check, Lynn :thumbsup:

I've always been that person that has a great life. I have never ever been jealous of anyone that had more than me, etc. Recently I have been hammered with so much ....."stuff" that I almost lost that. Shame on me. Just this morning I was talking with a friend and told her I am "letting go" of all this fustration and getting back to having fun. What a coincidence you bring this up just now.

I have always told people that your life is what you make it - and it's true. You don't have to have much to be happy. I've got my health, my dogs and live in my perfect little dream home. I have lots of friends and I love them all dearly. It's PERFECT!! And I can't stand it when people always say "why me.." for anything that happens. Now I feel a little guilty for feeling sorry for myself recently. :blush: :smilie_tischkante:

I lost a husband (divorce) and raised a child by myself. And after 30 years with one company, i was laid off.....there's a couple of biggies for ya - it's rough, but after the initial shock, you figure out things and life is good again.

Just look at the bright side of things, there are always two sides. Yes, it is all attitude. Sometimes I believe it's in your genes, and I am thankful for my genes :chili:

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Katkoota

· #8 · Apr 22, 2010

2maltmom said:
your life is what you make it - and it's true. You don't have to have much to be happy.
Just look at the bright side of things, there are always two sides. Yes, it is all attitude.

I 200% agree with the above ^ :thumbsup: SO VERY TRUE!!!!!
trust me, I know of people who are blessed with a lot in their lives. BUT, they lack the appreciation to what they have; they ALWAYS look for other things that they don't have; even if it was a small thing..

On the other hand, I know of other people who are just thankful for every lil thing they have, always satisfied with whatever comes in their lives (just like the lady who Lynn knows, they believe that things happen for reasons) and are just happier than many others who have more than they do.

It is all about the attitude!

hugs
Kat

Lacie's Mom

Discussion Starter · #9 · Apr 22, 2010 (Edited)

Actually I was thinking about people who seem soooooooooooooooooooo happy on the surface and "appear" to have "perfect" lives. I always wonder if their lives are truly "perfect" or if they're just faking it. LOL

I'm happy with my life for the most part. Of course, I wish that DH wasn't ill and that he were home with me, but for the most part, my life is good and I'm lucky.

mom2bijou

· #10 · Apr 22, 2010

The grass always looks greener on the other side. That's the thought that came to me while reading this thread. Personally, I think hardships are what define us and our personal strength. I'm only 30 but I've had some major hardships since I was 12. In a way though all those things have made me such a stronger person. I have friends who never had anything major life changing happen to them and they can't deal w/minor setbacks. Lots of people look at me like I have so much more than them or I've been dealt a lucky hand. I find that humorous b/c I've had to deal with the hand I was dealt. I was given lemons on many occassions and learned how to make lemonade. I'd rather have gone thru the things I did and at 30 years old know that my 2 feet can hold me up no matter with what I'm faced.

So I don't necessarily think I have the charmed life. But I've tried to make my life charming. This took me a long time to learn to do. My mother would always say to me that I'm so far ahead of the game, that she wishes she thought like me at my age. I have to try hard to project the good things in my life. Smiles and laughter are contagious. I try to give that off as much as possible despite all the challenges I have ever faced. Do I want to get negative about things? Sure and when I do I vent to my mother and DH. But I'm careful about who I vent to b/c someone else no matter how "charming" their life looks, has secrets and demons they have locked up and are trying to deal with themself.

Ok so I kinda rambled through this but the point I was trying to make was no matter how charming one's life may look, at one point they will face struggles for no life is struggle free. Or they may just be really good at radiating good out of past hardships.

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I found nemo

· #11 · Apr 22, 2010

mom2bijou said:
The grass always looks greener on the other side. That's the thought that came to me while reading this thread. Personally, I think hardships are what define us and our personal strength. I'm only 30 but I've had some major hardships since I was 12. In a way though all those things have made me such a stronger person. I have friends who never had anything major life changing happen to them and they can't deal w/minor setbacks. Lots of people look at me like I have so much more than them or I've been dealt a lucky hand. I find that humorous b/c I've had to deal with the hand I was dealt. I was given lemons on many occassions and learned how to make lemonade. I'd rather have gone thru the things I did and at 30 years old know that my 2 feet can hold me up no matter with what I'm faced.

So I don't necessarily think I have the charmed life. But I've tried to make my life charming. This took me a long time to learn to do. My mother would always say to me that I'm so far ahead of the game, that she wishes she thought like me at my age. I have to try hard to project the good things in my life. Smiles and laughter are contagious. I try to give that off as much as possible despite all the challenges I have ever faced. Do I want to get negative about things? Sure and when I do I vent to my mother and DH. But I'm careful about who I vent to b/c someone else no matter how "charming" their life looks, has secrets and demons they have locked up and are trying to deal with themself.

Ok so I kinda rambled through this but the point I was trying to make was no matter how charming one's life may look, at one point they will face struggles for no life is struggle free. Or they may just be really good at radiating good out of past hardships.

Great post, Tammy! You summed up all of what I feel also :wub:
One thing in life I have and I am proud to have it is Adaptability .
Me and my husband started out at 19 and 20 with nothing and now at 39 and 40 we are pretty secure, but if I had to go back in life and suffer the bad times again I could. I think anyone who says they live life with no problems is full of crap.
Setbacks make us stronger and also wiser.
I watch stories and see stories in life all the time of people who not only have everything but also have extraordinary talent and still that isn't enough.
Take what God has blessed you with and always know good things will happen as long as you live your life honestly and always try to do good for others. It may sound stupid , but I live by that everyday.
Oh and always tell the truth

Nikki's Mom

· #12 · Apr 22, 2010

:good post - perfect

:grouphug:

mom2bijou said:
The grass always looks greener on the other side. That's the thought that came to me while reading this thread. Personally, I think hardships are what define us and our personal strength. I'm only 30 but I've had some major hardships since I was 12. In a way though all those things have made me such a stronger person. I have friends who never had anything major life changing happen to them and they can't deal w/minor setbacks. Lots of people look at me like I have so much more than them or I've been dealt a lucky hand. I find that humorous b/c I've had to deal with the hand I was dealt. I was given lemons on many occassions and learned how to make lemonade. I'd rather have gone thru the things I did and at 30 years old know that my 2 feet can hold me up no matter with what I'm faced.

So I don't necessarily think I have the charmed life. But I've tried to make my life charming. This took me a long time to learn to do. My mother would always say to me that I'm so far ahead of the game, that she wishes she thought like me at my age. I have to try hard to project the good things in my life. Smiles and laughter are contagious. I try to give that off as much as possible despite all the challenges I have ever faced. Do I want to get negative about things? Sure and when I do I vent to my mother and DH. But I'm careful about who I vent to b/c someone else no matter how "charming" their life looks, has secrets and demons they have locked up and are trying to deal with themself.

Ok so I kinda rambled through this but the point I was trying to make was no matter how charming one's life may look, at one point they will face struggles for no life is struggle free. Or they may just be really good at radiating good out of past hardships.

The A Team

· #13 · Apr 22, 2010

Yes, I agree everyone has problems and skeletons to deal with....I never mind sharing mine with who ever will listen...:blush:. But for some unknown reason, I have always bounced back very quickly and have a hard time staying blue for long. So even though it is attitude, I truly believe it must have something to do with genes too as I've said before.

At the moment I have Stan and all his health problems and I worry about him...about possibly losing my house some day, and my mom, she doesn't even know who I am, I have a live-in aide taking care of her...and my sister who has a terrible cronic disease...and my daughter who continually makes bad choices..ugggg.....but it just hit me yesterday...what the heck am I worried about? i can't change any of this, so instead of worrying myself sick...I'm going to a fund raiser tomorrow night with co-workers. I Can't wait!!!!! :chili: and in a couple of weeks I'm going to Atlanta with Ava!!! And it's spring, almost time to plant my beloved flowers.....

As for people who only "look" happy, I don't worry about them....they're only fooling themselves. True happiness is inside you, and it has nothing to do with what other people see.

So...give someone a big smile....

it's contagious

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michellerobison

· #14 · Apr 23, 2010

I try to be upbeat most of the time. It gets hard. My hubby Al he gets bummed easily. Mostly in the last 8 years w/ the economy tanking and wathing your retirement shrink while the bills and property taxes grow... He grew up poor and wanted to at least be comfortable in his old age.
I grew up poor too but I figure as long as I have a roof over my head and food in the ole tank,I'm good to go.
We're comfortable in our middle age. We worked hard for it,while our younger siblings had it given to them. But they squanderd it and they're alone,so I wonder who's lucky and blessed here,them or us....

I'd say "US" with a big "us".

We made it,we still have each other and we're warm and dry and well fed. We have a place to relax and play and we're blessed w/ fluffs.
I think we're rich in so many ways. Tough times,we got them for sure. I'm in stage 4 kidney failure but I'm still alive and sniffing the flowers, (sniffing the fluffs too).

We were riding in the car today,I had 4 fluffs on my lap,Al had one on his. I told him if I died right now, I'd die where I wanted to be,with him beside me and covered in fluffs.To me I was already in heaven at that moment. Instead of fluffy clouds and harp music,I had fluffs and Pink Floyd!

I guess we all have our own definition of luck and wealth and heaven on earth..

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Canada

· #15 · Apr 23, 2010

This is a fascinating topic. I do think that the perpetually happy all the time people are perhaps putting up a front. I know I do, if I was sad about something I would be very chosey about who I showed my "sad face" to. I don't think that anyone lives a completely charmed life. And if we think that about someone, than perhaps we just don't know them well enough. It would be nearly impossible for people to have reached adulthood without some kind of tragedy. It is there, if we dig deep enough. Some people just wear a thicker mask.

And if they can't let down their guard to show their sadness, then perhaps they are the most scarred of all.

Deborah

· #16 · Apr 23, 2010

My life has had its ups and downs. Unfortunately when things go wrong my body will make things worse. Major panic attacks, migraines to name a few. I do have a very good life and wish I could always project happiness, for me it has not happened. Any time anything happens I always look at both the good and bad. I really wish I only saw the good but it is not in my genetic makeup.

Maglily

· #17 · Apr 23, 2010

I've never thought of myself as leading a charmed life but I always seem to have what I need. I can either get it myself or there's someone to call for help. I think I struggle a little with wanting something more or different, I sometimes have to remind myself to appreciate what I have.
It does seem like the more choices that are made with good intentions the more good things come your way. It seems too that being truthful and honest with your feelings helps alot. Things just fall in place more often than not. I heard (probably on Oprah) of someone complaining about all the bills that they had to pay and listed them off...and the answer was...but you had the money to pay them.
So yep, I think it is the attitude.

I think if someone appears to have the perfect life, they may or may not... we should be happy for them if it's true. If it's not, they might not know how to make it better or deal with the fallout if things were revealed. Maybe they aren't happy and are struggling with a problem.

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Nikki's Mom

· #18 · Apr 23, 2010

The way I see it, life is so much easier when we "bloom where we're planted." And maybe outwardly, that might look like happiness and good fortune to some people, but sometimes, it's deciding to be content.

When I was younger, some people thought I had a "charmed life," as I married young, and even though the marriage was short-lived, I became a strong single woman and made a great career for myself, remarried, and was quite financially content.

The loss of both parents, loss of a child, a very nasty divorce, deteriorating health, moving far from home, and financial "ruin," as they say, came along. So the people who thought that I led such a charmed life stopped saying that. Instead, they would say, "You're strong, you'll get through it."

And I did, with the help of some wonderful friends and God. I made a new life, and I have been married to a great guy for 11 years.

So people and things come and go in life, and the externals don't really mean very much in the big scheme of things. Happiness is dependent on what is "happening" at the moment. True contentment and peace doesn't depend on externals.

I'm not a joyful or happy go lucky person on the outside, actually I can be pretty cynical and negative. So no one would think that I live a "charmed life" anymore. But I think my life is all about grace and blessings. I am grateful for and cherish the precious friends, loved ones, and dogs that I have been blessed with over the years. I feel that I have more than I could ever need in life, and God always takes care of me.

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iheartbisou

· #19 · Apr 25, 2010

I wasn't going to respond to this thread but I feel the need to say this. There is always going to someone who is prettier, smarter, richer, happier or just better off than you. That's life.

Personally, I don't harbor any jealousies at all towards those who may have it better than me. Life and people aren't perfect, no matter how it looks on the outside. But I guarantee you that there are many more people out there who are much less fortunate than you. Maybe I live in a part of the world where I can see this every day and this keeps it in perspective for me. I count my blessings almost every day.

I believe life is what you make it, regardless of what you've been dealt (although sometimes life does make it hard to deal). Someone told me once, it's not important what happens to you but how you react to it. That's the only thing you can control.

Nikki's Mom

· #20 · Apr 25, 2010

shanghaimomma said:
I wasn't going to respond to this thread but I feel the need to say this. There is always going to someone who is prettier, smarter, richer, happier or just better off than you. That's life.

Personally, I don't harbor any jealousies at all towards those who may have it better than me. Life and people aren't perfect, no matter how it looks on the outside. But I guarantee you that there are many more people out there who are much less fortunate than you. Maybe I live in a part of the world where I can see this every day and this keeps it in perspective for me. I count my blessings almost every day.

I believe life is what you make it, regardless of what you've been dealt (although sometimes life does make it hard to deal). Someone told me once, it's not important what happens to you but how you react to it. That's the only thing you can control.

Thanks exactly right. There is always someone less fortunate, and that's why I always feel like I have more than enough, especially compared to so many in the world who have to struggle for everything every day of their lives.

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