[Nikki's Mom]

:good post - perfect

:grouphug:

The grass always looks greener on the other side. That's the thought that came to me while reading this thread. Personally, I think hardships are what define us and our personal strength. I'm only 30 but I've had some major hardships since I was 12. In a way though all those things have made me such a stronger person. I have friends who never had anything major life changing happen to them and they can't deal w/minor setbacks. Lots of people look at me like I have so much more than them or I've been dealt a lucky hand. I find that humorous b/c I've had to deal with the hand I was dealt. I was given lemons on many occassions and learned how to make lemonade. I'd rather have gone thru the things I did and at 30 years old know that my 2 feet can hold me up no matter with what I'm faced.

So I don't necessarily think I have the charmed life. But I've tried to make my life charming. This took me a long time to learn to do. My mother would always say to me that I'm so far ahead of the game, that she wishes she thought like me at my age. I have to try hard to project the good things in my life. Smiles and laughter are contagious. I try to give that off as much as possible despite all the challenges I have ever faced. Do I want to get negative about things? Sure and when I do I vent to my mother and DH. But I'm careful about who I vent to b/c someone else no matter how "charming" their life looks, has secrets and demons they have locked up and are trying to deal with themself.

Ok so I kinda rambled through this but the point I was trying to make was no matter how charming one's life may look, at one point they will face struggles for no life is struggle free. Or they may just be really good at radiating good out of past hardships.

 

[Nikki's Mom]

The way I see it, life is so much easier when we "bloom where we're planted." And maybe outwardly, that might look like happiness and good fortune to some people, but sometimes, it's deciding to be content.

When I was younger, some people thought I had a "charmed life," as I married young, and even though the marriage was short-lived, I became a strong single woman and made a great career for myself, remarried, and was quite financially content.

The loss of both parents, loss of a child, a very nasty divorce, deteriorating health, moving far from home, and financial "ruin," as they say, came along. So the people who thought that I led such a charmed life stopped saying that. Instead, they would say, "You're strong, you'll get through it."

And I did, with the help of some wonderful friends and God. I made a new life, and I have been married to a great guy for 11 years.

So people and things come and go in life, and the externals don't really mean very much in the big scheme of things. Happiness is dependent on what is "happening" at the moment. True contentment and peace doesn't depend on externals.

I'm not a joyful or happy go lucky person on the outside, actually I can be pretty cynical and negative. So no one would think that I live a "charmed life" anymore. But I think my life is all about grace and blessings. I am grateful for and cherish the precious friends, loved ones, and dogs that I have been blessed with over the years. I feel that I have more than I could ever need in life, and God always takes care of me.

 

[Nikki's Mom]

I wasn't going to respond to this thread but I feel the need to say this. There is always going to someone who is prettier, smarter, richer, happier or just better off than you. That's life.

Personally, I don't harbor any jealousies at all towards those who may have it better than me. Life and people aren't perfect, no matter how it looks on the outside. But I guarantee you that there are many more people out there who are much less fortunate than you. Maybe I live in a part of the world where I can see this every day and this keeps it in perspective for me. I count my blessings almost every day.

I believe life is what you make it, regardless of what you've been dealt (although sometimes life does make it hard to deal). Someone told me once, it's not important what happens to you but how you react to it. That's the only thing you can control.

Thanks exactly right. There is always someone less fortunate, and that's why I always feel like I have more than enough, especially compared to so many in the world who have to struggle for everything every day of their lives.