Joined
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6,463 Posts
Lynne,
You really stirred my emotions with this one and I know I responded to you via PM but since then I have done even more self-exploration and have realized that sometimes I pretend to be Pollyanna because I have come to realize that is what my family and (in-person) friends expect of me. But, you are also my friend and you deserve an honest and truthful, from the heart, what I am really feeling answer so I will give it to you.
I DO feel like others have it so much easier than me and it bothers me and makes me wonder why my path is paved with bumps and turns while others have a beautiful straight path to follow.
I'm tired of being told these bumps and turns make me stronger - I don't need to be stronger. If I get any stronger even the Incredibly Hulk won't be able to hold me down (sad attempt at a joke I know!). I'm tired of being told that it happens to everyone - because it doesn't.
So yes Lynne, I think its 100% natural for people who feel struggle is their middle name or who feel as though the world is playing favorites and they are not one of them to feel frustration, hurt, anger, and an overall sense of "why me".
The answer to "why me" I don't have it. I don't think I ever will. I guess that's why I have simply tried to be a Pollyanna - I figure if I'm positive enough maybe, just maybe, someday I will be able to stop playing the "glad game" because my life will, all of the sudden, be charmed.
PS. thank you for letting me bare my soul, you probably just saved me millions as who knows how long it would have taken in some type of therapy to get to this point of self-awareness
You really stirred my emotions with this one and I know I responded to you via PM but since then I have done even more self-exploration and have realized that sometimes I pretend to be Pollyanna because I have come to realize that is what my family and (in-person) friends expect of me. But, you are also my friend and you deserve an honest and truthful, from the heart, what I am really feeling answer so I will give it to you.
I DO feel like others have it so much easier than me and it bothers me and makes me wonder why my path is paved with bumps and turns while others have a beautiful straight path to follow.
I'm tired of being told these bumps and turns make me stronger - I don't need to be stronger. If I get any stronger even the Incredibly Hulk won't be able to hold me down (sad attempt at a joke I know!). I'm tired of being told that it happens to everyone - because it doesn't.
So yes Lynne, I think its 100% natural for people who feel struggle is their middle name or who feel as though the world is playing favorites and they are not one of them to feel frustration, hurt, anger, and an overall sense of "why me".
The answer to "why me" I don't have it. I don't think I ever will. I guess that's why I have simply tried to be a Pollyanna - I figure if I'm positive enough maybe, just maybe, someday I will be able to stop playing the "glad game" because my life will, all of the sudden, be charmed.
PS. thank you for letting me bare my soul, you probably just saved me millions as who knows how long it would have taken in some type of therapy to get to this point of self-awareness
