Lynn, great thread and hugs to you.
I always remember as a very young child getting scolded for staring at people :blush: Mom would get so upset at me and tell me how rude that was. I never realized I was doing that. But I was a very quiet insightful child, and always taking in people, and hoping when I would see them, that they were happy. When I would see them by themselves, I would think, Gosh, I hope they are happy.
Mom always said, if we all put our problems in one basket, we will be sure to pick back, our very own problems.
I came from a divorced home, with many difficult circumstances, that I view as blessings. I remember sitting on my bed, my feet not even touching the ground ( I am 5' 11" now, so you know how long that was
, knowing what was about to come, and just praying quitely and knowing God would see me through. Which He did.
I would go to friends homes, who had two parents, and it felt so good. And then I would see how my friends would speak to their parents :w00t: and I was so saddened and told them so. But I never asked, why me? Why can't I be my friends, not sure why, but I didn't.
I, like many of you, don't have a jealous bone in my body. Jelousy only pulls you down, and prevents your own happiness. It would be silly of me to be envious of someone 5' 7 or any other height, when I am 5' 11', just a waste of energy.
When hubby and I were married, we rented for 7 years. All of our friends were getting homes, and I honestly was SO happy for them :chili:. I knew someday it would happen for us and to be unhappy for someone else obtaining their dream, doesn't make your dream come to fruition any sooner.
I think why I always soaked people in, and am and was so insightful as to who they are, is because people are like onions with many layers. And what we see on the surface, may not tell the whole story, of what the other layers hold.
Just like in the reverse, there is a guy at work, people HATE, they don't like, can not stand
and he sits right in front of me. And I tell you, many layers to this fella. And as I peeled layer by layer, I found alot of hurt within him, a very good heart, AND he is an animal lover
I guess what I am saying is, that what we think we see on the surface, may not always be the case.
Oh yes, many times, it appears, people have an easier road, get promotions based on other then merit, but I don't want things that way.
All I do want, is to be happy within and I want that for others. Things will never make us happy or make anyone happy.
There is a family I know, picture perfect outwardly. And oh how they would brag about every accomplishment their children made both accademically and sports wise. Over and Over to the point, it concerned me. Alot. The children were sitting right there, not much younger then myself, and I wondered how they felt. I also wondered how much time does the couple spend appreciating each other. The father was a doctor and the mother was a nurse, but then became a stay at home Mom. Picture perfect children, picture perfect life. One Christmas Eve, we were all together, and this family was gathered in the living room and decided to sit with them. The children were young teens and Mom and Dad were there, and they were talking about cells in the body, and how one effects the other or something like that :smilie_tischkante::smilie_tischkante::smilie_tischkante::smilie_tischkante:. I was floored. Admired their togetherness, but still felt uneasy. That following July 4th, we were all at a home, it was a pool party, and their oldest daughter, clearly had anorexia sp?. Broke my heart to pieces, tears came to my eyes, as I saw her sitting on the float, nothing but bones. And I wondered if there was some sort of connection between the parents constant constant bragging in front of them and this young girls illness. Maybe not, but just maybe. She is find now and still on the road to excel at anything and everything.
The only time I have ever asked, oh God, why them? Why not me, and this is the God's truth, and may make you all very sad, but it is the God's truth, is when I see the children from a 3rd world country, with their stomach distended from starvation and trying to get some of that white mushy stuff. I think Dear God, why them? How did I not end up that way? That really is the only time I think, why not me, feel so blessed and at the same time guilty it is not me, but still ask, why them and not me?