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Discussion Starter #1
TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or
is it still the same old story?


Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no
human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I
have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I
must remember - to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after
they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just
because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box,
although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's
laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the
toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable
way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my
butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
 

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Those are SO funny!!!! I can see my Brinkley's personality in SO many of those!
 

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That is really funny. Good one!
 

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too funny!!
 
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