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Dear God:

Why do humans smell the flowers, but? seldom, if ever, smell one another?

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Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

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Dear God: Why are there cars named after the? jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,? but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

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Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

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Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
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Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

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Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

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Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last two questions . .

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Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?


P.S.? Dear God: When I get to Heaven will I get my testicles back?

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Thanks for making my day much more bearable!!
This was HYSTERICAL!!! (stand up suddenly under the coffee table was the BEST!!)
 

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Discussion Starter #6
There were several I could relate to and made me laugh out loud. I thought it was cute!
 

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loved it and can really remember the Irish Setter I had constantly standing up under the table, he must have had terrible headackes and absolutly no memory
 
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