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Premium Member
13,652 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<span style="font-family:Optima">
A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her
bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watched
her for a while and asked, "Do you have any idea how
ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, "I
don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and
the doctor said I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."

The husband asked, "What did he say about your 56 year old

"Your name never came up," she replied.


Premium Member
13,652 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
<span style="font-family:Optima">A guy is in line at the

supermarket when he notices that a rather hot blonde behind

him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving

to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might

know her from, so he says, "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be

the father of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been

unfaithful. "Holy crap," he says, "are you that stripper

from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table in

front of all my friends while your girlfriend whipped me

with some wet celery?

"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher."</span>

Premium Member
13,652 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
<span style="font-family:Optima">Ed Zachary

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she
had not had a date or any sex in quite sometime.
She was afraid she might have something wrong with
her, so she decided to employ the medical expertise
of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she go see Dr. Chang,
the well known Chinese sex therapist. So she went
to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang
said, "OK, take off all you crose."

The woman did as she was told.

"Now, get down and craw reery reery fass to odder
side of room."

Again, the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery reery
fass back to me."

So she did.

Dr.Chang slowly shook his head and said, "Your
probrem vewy bad - you haf Ed Zachary Disease, worse
case I ever see, dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Terrified., the woman asked, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang,
what is Ed Zachary Disease?

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eyes and replied,
"Ed Zachary disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary
rike your ass." </span>
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