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Discussion Starter #1
CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



Ladies--Take notes! You never know! LOL

The Curtain Rods

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay..

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow tubes of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, .....including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU????
 

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hahahahha
I love emails like that


How true the truth is...
>
>A college student at a recent USC football game challenged a senior
>citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for their generation to
>understand his. "You grew up in a different world" the student said loud
>enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes,
>space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited
>Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with
>light-speed processing .. and uh.."
>
>Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the geezer said,
>You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young; so we invented
>them, you little twit! What the heck are you doing for the next generation??
>
>I love senior citizens...
 

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LOVED the curtain rod story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My kinda woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Who knew shrimp shells and caviar would smell so bad? I don't think I ever had caviar. HMMMM
 

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Discussion Starter #8
OK, I didn't want to start a new thread. This isnt funny but interesting. I got this in my email and the subject was "alzheimer test" but I dont quite get why. Here goes...


THIS IS CRAZY, YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS!

Alzheimer's Test DONT GO TOO FAR DOWN UNTIL YOU FINISHED COUNTING
.

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...(see below)























Managed it?

Scroll down only after you have counted them, okay?

Do you think there are three? How many? 3?

Wrong, there are 6 !!--no joke.
Read it again.
The reasoning behind it is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF". Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.


I only got 3
.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Awww :D Don't thank me! Thank my friend who sends me this kind of stuff EVERYDAY! LOL
 

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Originally posted by Nichole@Feb 1 2005, 01:44 PM
I got 5 the first time, but I still can't find the last "F"!  LOL 

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=32776
[/QUOTE]


ME TOO!!!!!!!!! hahaha...I just wrote it out to find it!!! HAHAHa
 

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Here is one:

Typoglycemia


I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Originally posted by nataliecmu@Feb 1 2005, 12:52 PM
Here is one:

Typoglycemia

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.
<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=32782
[/QUOTE]

My friend sent me this one too! HAHAHAH
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I thought this was funny. LONG, but funny!

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
(AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was
"DON'T!"

"Don't what?"
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit! "
said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so! "

God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? "
God asked.


"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.

"She started it! "
Adam said.

"Did not! "

"Did too! "

"DID NOT! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.


Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you.

In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.


ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!
 
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