[Matilda's mommy]

HERE GOES.....WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? WHY ARE WE BEING SO CLIQUISH? I HAVE BEEN HERE FOR 5 YEARS AND I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT LIKE THIS. DEBBIE (MY SUGAR BEARS) ASK FOR ADVISE ON GROOMING HER RILEY, SHE GOT ONE RESPOND, COME ON WHAT'S GOING ON. OH THERE HAVE BEEN MANY MORE ALSO. TRUTHFULLY I HAVE ONLY MADE A FEW THREADS IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS, I DON'T FEEL APART ANYMORE. I HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF FRIENDS HERE THAT I FEEL ALWAYS REPLY TO MY THREADS AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. I AM SHARING FROM MY HEART HERE, I DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING PICTURES OF MY GIRLS HERE, I FEEL IT'S ALL ABOUT THE DOGS WITH THE WONDERFUL BREEDERS THAT ARE GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION. I AM CONSIDERING TAKING SOME TIME OFF FROM SM, I AM SO DISSAPOINTED WITH THE LACK OF CARING FOR ONE ANOTHER. I REALLY MISS THE ONES WHO HAVE LEFT, MAYBE I WILL LOOK THEM UP. I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE PART OF THE SM FAMILY, BUT I AM NOT CERTAIN THERE IS ONE ANYMORE. ENOUGH SAID, IF I OFFENED YOU I'M SORRY BUT I JUST HAD TO SPEAK MY HEART. IF I DECIDE TO LEAVE I WILL MISS YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS BABIES, DON'T BE MAD AT ME, I JUST THINK SM IS GOING DOWN A ROAD I DON'T FEEL IS HEALTHY FOR MAKING CLOSE FRIENDS. WHO KNOWS I MIGHT BE ONE WHO GETS BANNED:mellow: IF I'M LOOKING AT THIS ALL WRONG SPEAK UP, I ALWAYS LISTEN TO GOOD LOVING ADVISE

 

[janettandamber]

Please don't go. I have been on SM for quite some time and I have had a hard time opening up. I know how you feel, I have posted some threads that some would take over and ignore what I wrote. Maybe people feel secure with people they know.

 

[angel's mom]

Paula, I agree. It really doesn't seem as much like family as it used to, but it is the one constant that we have to stay in touch with one another. I guess I'll always hang around here just because I know I can always find those special friends I have here. You're one of those. Hugs

 

[bellaratamaltese]

I know exactly what you mean and I don't think you are 'starting anything.' I've noticed a decline in people posting also and it makes me sad. Many people have left or are only posting on the 'new' forum that has recently opened up. I believe the 'decline' we are noticing is in direct response to some members being banned recently.

I hope things change and SM becomes the 'same' forum it used to be!

 

[Tina]

I don't have an answer for you. It really has changed here at SM. People are scrambling and looking for a better forum to be on. A new one was started. The membership is building and it is a nice place to be with friends. I can only keep up with so many forums and get my work done with my dogs. Been having puppies right now and keep busy keeping up with them. I got a dog back from an owner who was having trouble potty training him, yet never let him out of the crate or bonded with him. They had two other dogs that went out in the yard, but she wouldn't let him go with them. She did a great job with him as he is a calm easy going fella.

It is scary to vent your opinion because you are waiting for the ax to fall. I don't think it is so much "cliquish" as to not knowing if you will appear to be controversial and upset someone. Sometimes I can't keep up with SM every day.

http://www.itsmagicmaltese.com

 

[3Maltmom]

Paula ~ LMAO :HistericalSmiley:

I'd say you opened a "long over due" can of worms ~ LOL

In my case, I have been so busy with work (out of town more than I would like) setting up a dog-sitter, dealing with fosters, adoptions, pulling, fund raising, picketing, sick dogs, hungry dogs, groomers, vets, etc.

So what else is new? Hmmm, I've always been a very busy person, but always enjoyed, learned, and spent time on SM. I MADE time for it. This was my family, YOU are my family, Paula.

Most have left. I pull up "new posts", find a few pages, and only take the time to look at the first page. I don't even know what's on the other pages. I do know, recently, I've had some nasty emails from a few SM posters, not sure if they are members, or guests, but I get tired of that. I was told, I am a BYB, and my dogs are ugly ~ :HistericalSmiley:

This happened many years ago with a certain member making fun of my Henry. Trust me, I don't get mad. I have to laugh, but am now a bit too busy to put up with the games.

Please know I love you, and all my SM friends!! I'm just tired.

Like you, I want my "real" friends on a forum. SM is much different now.

With that said, I would like to send my love, and gratitude to all my buddies, and to those who have sent such lovely prayers to me, my family, and my precious doggies. You gals are the BEST!!

I'm not leaving SM, just not on as much. So when I miss a page, please email me at: [email protected]

 

[sophie]

Paula, I know how you feel. Hugs xoxoxoxo

Linda

 

[sophie]

I can't believe that people are sending you nasty e-mails. I must be too naive, but I can't imagine someone doing that. Takes all kinds.

But, then again, I was just recently de-friended by someone on FB because I am a member of SM - nothing personal against me - just the need for them to distance themselves from drama and some sort of personal attacks from an SM member. I do not know the details of what it's all about, but sad I don't have my FB friend anymore.

Love your attitude, Deb!

Linda

Paula ~ LMAO :HistericalSmiley:

I'd say you opened a "long over due" can of worms ~ LOL

In my case, I have been so busy with work (out of town more than I would like) setting up a dog-sitter, dealing with fosters, adoptions, pulling, fund raising, picketing, sick dogs, hungry dogs, groomers, vets, etc.

So what else is new? Hmmm, I've always been a very busy person, but always enjoyed, learned, and spent time on SM. I MADE time for it. This was my family, YOU are my family, Paula.

Most have left. I pull up "new posts", find a few pages, and only take the time to look at the first page. I don't even know what's on the other pages. I do know, recently, I've had some nasty emails from a few SM posters, not sure if they are members, or guests, but I get tired of that. I was told, I am a BYB, and my dogs are ugly ~ :HistericalSmiley:

This happened many years ago with a certain member making fun of my Henry. Trust me, I don't get mad. I have to laugh, but am now a bit too busy to put up with the games.

Please know I love you, and all my SM friends!! I'm just tired.

Like you, I want my "real" friends on a forum. SM is much different now.

With that said, I would like to send my love, and gratitude to all my buddies, and to those who have sent such lovely prayers to me, my family, and my precious doggies. You gals are the BEST!!

I'm not leaving SM, just not on as much. So when I miss a page, please email me at: [email protected]

 

[bellaratamaltese]

I can't believe that people are sending you nasty e-mails. I must be too naive, but I can't imagine someone doing that. Takes all kinds.

But, then again, I was just recently de-friended by someone on FB because I am a member of SM - nothing personal against me - just the need for them to distance themselves from drama and some sort of personal attacks from an SM member. I do not know the details of what it's all about, but sad I don't have my FB friend anymore.

Love your attitude, Deb!

Linda

Wow, are you serious? You were defriended because you are a member of this forum?

I don't like where this is going!!

 

[iheartbisou]

Paula, I think you have the right to say how you feel if something is bothering you about the site.

I've heard that it was 'clique-ish" here sometimes from people, but honestly I really don't pay any attention to that..and wouldn't even know who or what the clique is here. I hope you don't go because you contribute a lot to the site. I do think that people post sporadically, so people shouldn't get offended if nobody has responded within a day...within a week - okay maybe something's up..but maybe people just weren't on...or maybe they didn't have any ideas? jmo.

Deb- What?? Someone accused you of being a BYB? Are they huffing glue? Seriously? That's the craziest thing I've heard all week!!

 

[lovesophie]

Paula,

:grouphug: I don't really know what to say, but I hope you don't go! What a blow that would be to SM...

 

[maggieh]

I normally don't post on a lot of topics but, ladies, "what you said." I too have noticed a change in demeanor and have seen the "new" forum but I'm not leaving SM because of what many of you have come to mean to me. I've made new friends here and find help and comfort in knowing that words of encouragement and advice are coming from such wise women (and the guys - can't forget the guys). Paula - please know that your prayers have often set my day or night on the right track!

Hugs to all of you!

Maggie

 

[princessre]

Please do not leave!! We love your babies and your contribution to SM!! :grouphug: But thank you for expressing your feelings. This way we can address the problem.

I think the new layout of "active topics" on the home page might contribute to the lack of response on some new threads (as compared to the old layout of topics listed by section.) On the one hand, if you are pinched for time, it's now very easy to spot and participate in topics with the most recent responses. But on the other hand, it's more difficult to see threads that have not yet gotten traction.

Deb, I cannot believe people accused you of being a BYB or insulted your dogs. You are our resident angel!!

SM is a wonderful resource with an unparalleled membership! I will try to browse all different section of SM more frequently for threads that have been neglected if that might help people.

 

[The A Team]

Thanks Paula. I've been feeling the same way but am always afraid to say anything. Poor Lynn tried to figure it out once and got BLASTED! :w00t: BIG TIME!!!!!

It used to be fun here, now it's not. So what ever caused it (I have no idea) I sure wish it would turn itself around again.

I remember a lot of us used to change our siggy pictures often...for the seasons. We've had adventures, laughed, cried, bought and had our dogs model clothing all the time. We even sent each other gifts! Our dogs were first. We knew everyone and everyone knew us. We may have jumped on newbies for saying something wrong or where they got their dog from, but others of us would try to shush them and be polite. (family :blink

Is it there are too many rules?? - that everything must be black and white, get over it - the world if full of colors. are we afraid of being banned? Is it the members themselves - too many new people who don't know how it was? Are we not posting to threads because we're not on much? or something else?

Guess you can tell I really don't know, but I feel the loss just the same.

Is the magic gone? I'll be sticking around....hoping....

What I do know is, it doesn't work by us just "trying harder" that only gets tiring. We need to WANT to enjoy the site without having to force the issue. ....but I am willing to give it another try - say - if we all just start posting fun pictures and stories.... and give the "rules" a rest.

 

[CeeCee's Mom]

Wow, are you serious? You were defriended because you are a member of this forum?

I don't like where this is going!!

The same with me.......I recieved an email and was defriended because I was on SM. They acted as if I knew what they were talking about. It is so sad that people do this without really explaining. I've noticed I have been blocked by more than the person that sent me the email. It seems rather odd .....and all it does is make me feel sad. Very, very sad.

 

[Hunter's Mom]

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone and I won't made excuses. Yes, I have been busy but this is my family as well and I should be making time for all of you. So, please accept my apologies!

Second, if someone is defriending you on FB because you are a member here - that is extremly childish and there are other ways to distance yourself from a forum (that is unrelated to FB) wthout defriendin friends. Seems like unnecessary drama to me and makes me wonder about that person, but I digress - I am so sorry that this person felt they had to do this and that it is you who was hurt by it.

I do not like the "NEW POSTS" button. I find that its frustrating because it cycles new posts and you often miss things. I missed that Lynne wasnt getting Sweet Pea - it was only when I had time to look in the individual forums that I saw it and felt terrible that I hadn't replied the day before. Its honestly a tab I would remove.

Pat - you are 100% right! I was out shopping for Hunter the other day and got a great deal on some extra toys and treats and thought I would send them along to a member and that's when I realized - I don't recall the last post about a surprize showing up in the mail. I always enjoyed those posts!

I personally LOVE BUTTONS&BOW AND MATILDA and don't want them to leave and neither does Hunter! He says this forum needs more RESCUES! He says "pwease dont weave spoiled mawtese. I don't want to be da onwy bad knee'd, no teef, cwurly haired, kinda kooky mawtese on dis forum."

 

[Maglily]

Paula, I think you have the right to say how you feel if something is bothering you about the site.

I've heard that it was 'clique-ish" here sometimes from people, but honestly I really don't pay any attention to that..and wouldn't even know who or what the clique is here. I hope you don't go because you contribute a lot to the site. I do think that people post sporadically, so people shouldn't get offended if nobody has responded within a day...within a week - okay maybe something's up..but maybe people just weren't on...or maybe they didn't have any ideas? jmo.

Deb- What?? Someone accused you of being a BYB? Are they huffing glue? Seriously? That's the craziest thing I've heard all week!!

hey I am still here at work and really have to get going, but this is basically what I am thinking word for word. I use a computer all day at work so I'm not always eager to log on at night, and I usually look at 'new posts' too. I have been busy the last few weeks with yard work, deck repairs etc, I've been cluing up work before I go on holidays the last 2 weeks but usually I do make an effort to see what's going or more particularly if people are ok.

 

[uniquelovdolce]

ooo wow , im a newbie here and im addicted to the site , i rarely get on from home , so when i should be working or in between work im on here, i get attached to forums and ppl and fluffs and i would hate for u to leave ,u have always been helpful when i ask questions and i love ur fluffs... some of my posts have gone unanswered and then someone will try to help i love you all for that , i have noticed though that ppl misunderstand things and some dont agree to disagree .. i guess that will always happen...
about ppl beiong de friended on fb thats just wrong ,i personallyhavent added anyone from here on fb because i like to keep the things seperate butthat doesnt mean i wouldnt accept a friend request...

about emailing u and saying ur dogs are ugly and that you are a byb well that person is just childish n mean .. some ppl never grow up .. i hvnt been here long but i would NOT want you to go and i wouldnt want this to become one of those sterile forums were no one is family ...

 

[missiek]

I am also a newbie and am trying to find my niche in the "family". I am a stay at home Mom and check SM daily...sometimes several times a day! (blush). All of you on here have always been so sweet and really helped me to get my feet wet in the show dog world. I don't think I would be showing if it wasn't for some of you encouraging me.

I hope you don't go, I have been on too many forums where trolls and nasty people have destroyed something special. I hope the same doesn't happen here!

 

[CrystalAndZoe]

I am actually starting to get kind of angry at the people who have left. IMO, if they had stuck around when things started to happen to change the spirit of SM (I'm not talking about Admin or the new format but newer people and how they interact with us here on SM and change the flavor of SM) we could have pulled together as a group or family to not allow newer members to take SM down this path. I want the old spirit or flavor of SM back and it will only happen if we take ownership back and redirect the way certain threads and mindsets are going.

I know I have times that I'm able to be on SM a lot. Other times I can only pop on every once in awhile. So sometimes I reply to tons of threads and others I can only respond to a few. But I do know that when I joined SM 6 years ago, there were hurt feelings even back then about lack of replies to certain threads and accusations of cliques. So that really is nothing new and sadly will always happen when involved in a group. I say develop some close friendships and try to keep up with those. Anything more then that is just an added blessing.

Paula, I love you so much and feel you would be doing both SM and yourself a real disservice if you left. Maybe I'm wrong but I've become pretty vocal lately about the mindset that is going on here that is taking SM away from the friendly, loving, down to earth group it used to be. And as a new store owner, that is NOT putting my business first because I know I'm making some people very unhappy. I'm hoping others will join so that there is not just a few lonely voices.

As for being de-friended on FB for being a part of SM, I don't think that is the actual mindset of this person. I think she is just really hurt and unable to think clearly right now. We've all been there when emotions are to a point that it's difficult to think and see clearly. Hopefully when wounds heal a bit, she will see that perhaps that was not really what she needed or wanted to do. As for why she is hurt, it does appear that an unjustified action was taken by Admin from what I've been told. However I was not on SM much during the time of that incident and never saw what actually took place, so I can't really say if what Admin did was correct or not. Just seems to me if there was any question, then ALL parties involved should have been given the same treatment.

As for the new forum, I get exhausted just thinking about having to be involved with another forum. But if I want to keep up with all my friends, some who have left SM and others who haven't, then that is what I have to do. It becomes tedious and saps the joy out of posting when you have to post the same thing several places and then feel you need to respond to the same post of someone else in several places. Do you copy and paste your same response in all the different places or do you have to come up with a new response for each format? I'm exhausted just explaining it! lol And, you have the same trouble makers going to the other forums that have either already been dealt with here or are at least known here. There is one byb already on the new forum who is well known here and does not post much here because of that. She is the main reason I have not registered on the new forum. I don't want to go through THAT drama again.:smstarz: So I don't think the problem is truly any particular forum or format or even admin. We just need to take some pride and ownership back in SM and redirect and educate certain attitudes and ways of thinking as well as redirect certain threads. I remember Deb (3MaltMom) and myself and a few others that would try to redirect threads when someone was trying to stir up trouble until Joe could get to it (this was before he had put a moderating team in place) by telling lame jokes. It was fun and funny! Remember?? Things weren't always perfect before, but WE took some control in those situations when Joe was not around.

Oh and Deb....I'm first in line for one of your byb puppies. I want one sired by LBB. Yep, I'll pay a ridiculously high price, and fly across the country to get the latest and greatest trend, the eyeless Maltese! :wub: :HistericalSmiley: What could we call this new designer dog? Gotta come up with a catchy name so it will catch on!:thumbsup: