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942 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
An elderly man in North Carolina owned a large farm for several
years.He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoecourt
and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up
for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he had
not been there for awhile, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon
bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting
and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch! of young
women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and
they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not
coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim
naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said,
"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast


7,621 Posts
OMG thats funny!!


Premium Member
21,482 Posts
Originally posted by Scoobydoo@Jun 8 2005, 10:36 AM
And yet another one :D

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going
to town. The boy rode on the donkey &
the old man walked. As they went along
they passed some people who remarked
it was a shame the old man was walking
& the boy was riding. The man & boy
thought maybe the critics were right,
so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked,
"What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."
They then decided they both
would walk! Soon they passed some
more people who thought they were
stupid to walk when they had a decent
donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people that
shamed them by saying how awful to put
such a load on a poor donkey.
The boy & man said they were
probably right, so they decided
to carry the donkey. As
they crossed the bridge, they lost
their grip on the animal & he fell
into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?
If you try to please everyone, you might as well,

Kiss your ass good-bye!!!!!!!!!
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Oh, that is great and SO TRUE!!!!

4,035 Posts
I got this email a couple of days ago and it gave me a good laugh.

Three women--one German, one Japanese and a Hillbilly--were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager" she said. " I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The Hillbilly woman finally said...."Well, will you look at that, I'm gettin' a fax."
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