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<span style="font-family:Optima">I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, and thennnn slip on this gown. Everything clearrrr?"

I'm thinking, "Belinda! Try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

Call me crazy, but I suspect a man invented this machine. It takes a
perfectly healthy cup size of 36-B to a size 38-LONG in less than 60 seconds. Also, girls aren't made of sugar an! d spice and everything nice...it's Spandex. We can be stretched, pulled and twisted over a cold 4-inch piece of square glass and still pop back into shape.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other
boob wedged between those two 4" pieces of square glass) when we
heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"What?" I yelled.

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda headed
for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone, are you?" I
shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, ! you fussy puppy, the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be righttttt
backkkk!!!"

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible. "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and
making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said.

"Oh I am soooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps........ </span>
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Oh you poor dear.....are you think lawsuit? Where's this hospital at? Be sure that I don't want to go there or send any of my family.


YALL OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR LAUGHING AT HER LIKE THAT.



That was funny
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Originally posted by scottchelf@Oct 23 2005, 09:02 PM
Oh you poor dear.....are you think lawsuit?  Where's this hospital at?  Be sure that I don't want to go there or send any of my family.


YALL OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR LAUGHING AT HER LIKE THAT.

 
 
 
 


That was funny
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Scott, let me tell you this, until you have had the pleasure of having the upper portions of your anatomy squeezed in that vice like, obviously man made torture machine made specifically for the displeasure of all us ladies, you will either laugh hysterically at the above story, or remember just how possible that predicament could be, or feel extremely sorry for any woman who has to participate in this annual exercise. I have to say that poor lady's predicament actally brought tears to my eyes
 

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You know after my last mamogram, I was left so bruised that I couldn't even wear a bra. The technician was so nasty that I ended up calling the hospital where it was done. They didn't even offer me an apology. This year I went to a women's center...it couldn't have been a nicer experience. The tech kept asking if I was comfortable, did I need to take a break, etc. They actually had massage lounge chairs in the waiting area both before and after. They offered cookies, sodas, coffee, and fruit. As with everything in life...it's all in the presentation. Do something unpleasant in a nice surrounding and you'll feel a lot better. Let's all remember that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Schedule your appointment, and go with a girlfriend, mother, sister, or cousin. Have you been squished this year? I have.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Originally posted by saltymalty@Oct 24 2005, 08:28 AM
You know after my last mamogram, I was left so bruised that I couldn't even wear a bra.  The technician was so nasty that I ended up calling the hospital where it was done.  They didn't even offer me an apology.  This year I went to a women's center...it couldn't have been a nicer experience.  The tech kept asking if I was comfortable, did I need to take a break, etc.  They actually had massage lounge chairs in the waiting area both before and after.  They offered cookies, sodas, coffee, and fruit.  As with everything in life...it's all in the presentation.  Do something unpleasant in a nice surrounding and you'll feel a lot better.  Let's all remember that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Schedule  your appointment, and go with a girlfriend, mother, sister, or cousin.   Have you been squished this year?  I have.
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Saltymalty,
I also had a very bad experience and came out bruised and very sore, so bad that my GP actually called the radiologist's office where I had it done and complained on my behalf.
I have yet to have another, sadly that experience left me with a fear of that machine, but I am considering it, perhaps being in a new country like here in the US I may have a better experience as you did.
Another reason is that my daughter called me a few nights ago to tell me she has been scheduled for her first mammogram and ultra sound due to the fact that her doctor has detected a large lump. This is a real worry as both my grandmother and mother had problems. My grandmother had a double mastectomy as a result, but it was never confirmed to be cancer but back then they did the surgery just to be on the safe side. My mother had benign cysts removed and never had any further problems. So far I have been ok, but I am now waiting to hear back from my daughter in Australia to find out her xray results. I have to say I am quite concerned, but praying that all is ok with her. She is only 34 and had her first little boy at 30 and her doctor told her that this could put her in the higher risk bracket along with her family history.
 

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The joke is funny...you not getting regular mammograms with your family history is not. I think a lot of the comfort/discomfort is with the technician (sp?). One year it hurt like crazy, the next time no pain whatsoever, and this year it wasn't too terribly bad. But seriously, you need to get regular exams.
 

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Scooby, I wish I lived close by because I'd go with you and we could have it done together. Do you have a girlfriend who could go with you? Also, you should talk to the facility before the procedure is done, because as I found out this year, not every place is the same. I think that if you call around and ask the right questions you might have a better experience. As horrible as brusing and squishing is, it does not compare to the horror of ignoring your health. I completely understand your reluctance, and I was the same way...until a girlfriend of mine had me go with her. We made a lunch date out of it and actually had so much fun that the
procedure seemed simple.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Originally posted by saltymalty@Oct 24 2005, 11:01 AM
Scooby, I wish I lived close by because I'd go with you and we could have it done together.  Do you have a girlfriend who could go with you?  Also, you should talk to the facility before the procedure is done, because as I found out this year, not every place is the same.  I think that if you call around and ask the right questions you might have a better experience.  As horrible as brusing and squishing is, it does not compare to the horror of ignoring your health.  I completely understand your reluctance, and I was the same way...until a girlfriend of mine had me go with her.  We made a lunch date out of it and actually had so much fun that the
procedure seemed simple.
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Oh thanks for the offer,
you are very kind, and I will perhaps talk with my neighbor across the road and see when she is going for her next one as we are quite good friends. You are absolutely right though and the worst experiences can always be much easier to endure if you have a real friend there for support. Don't worry I am all too well aware of the importance of having the check up done, especially with the news from my daughter.
I am not usually chicken hearted like this but I have to say that last one I had did hurt like heck and took a long time for the bruising etc to subside.
 
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