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Don't give up yet. Honesty is a breathe of fresh air. People are who they are and you aren't going to change them. You have contributions yet to be made. Don't get chased off.
 

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Don't give up yet. Honesty is a breathe of fresh air. People are who they are and you aren't going to change them. You have contributions yet to be made. Don't get chased off.
:goodpost::goodpost:
 

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Listen up hear, why do you want to give in to the meanies. :brownbag: Why don't they just keep a bag over your head and say nothing. What and give them what they want......NO:hysteric:

Your fluffs are so darn cute I will miss there cute faces.:tender:

Give it time I am new too, but everyone is allowed an opinion its not always right or wrong. I believe there is always two answers to one question. Is it heads or tails??

Please don't go, I would love you to stay but I will not be happy that you left just because of a chosen few that ruin it for others.:crying 2:

Take care Lynda and the Max
 

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Please don't go. Our differences sometimes get the better of us but overall it's a good group. Give it a go a bit longer.
 

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Rebecca! Don't go girl! I ahve had a hard road here too and quit coming on here for awhile, but I came back and I am telling you I had a lot of friends that I didn't know I had before.

There are a lot more good people on this board than negative ones!

Besides, I wanted to see that crazy Christmas pic your Mom wants to do!!! :D
 

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Differences between friends can happen bot in person and in forums. That being said, the best thing to do is not to jump into controversial topics if you are not comfortable doing so and if you are then be prepared for what may come. I have been here for 3 years and still consider myself a newbie but I have made some good friends here and have found a lot of support and encouragement from all. Leaving is your choice but I would encourage you to stay.
 

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This forum can be a lot of fun. But then sometimes it goes off the deep end, in my opinion. Personally, I'm just here for fun and friendship. A few months ago it was horrible around here:angry:, then it came back strong.....back and forth....because I feel we're slipping again into butting heads here and there .

When too many personalities get together, there's bound to be disagreements. For me there's a breaking point and if I'm offended I want to leave here for good, but there are too many friends here to leave.:w00t:

I'm thinking I'll just stick to the fun threads and skip the controversial ones.

You really should stick around, it's not always as bad as you think it is right now. Or at least come back periodically and join in the "fun" stuff.
 

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Differences between friends can happen bot in person and in forums. That being said, the best thing to do is not to jump into controversial topics if you are not comfortable doing so and if you are then be prepared for what may come. I have been here for 3 years and still consider myself a newbie but I have made some good friends here and have found a lot of support and encouragement from all. Leaving is your choice but I would encourage you to stay.
Very sound advice. This is the first forum I have stayed with and its all because of Bogie. I do really hope you stay, but I wanted to make sure you understand that I can see why you want to leave.

That being said, it can be hard to avoid the controversial topics when you don't even know what they are yet. It never hurts to search the forum and read prior posts to get a feel for it especially before starting a thread. This is one reason why I don't like posts to be deleted. Life isn't like that. You can't really unsay something once it is said. If we all remember that, we might do a better job of editing ourselves before hitting the Submit Reply button. It's too easy to get sloppy in our treatment of each other if we know we can just erase our written words. There is nothing wrong with writing a retraction or further explaining our view instead of deleting.

I sincerely believe that the people on this forum are here because they love their dogs and want to share knowledge. We don't always agree. But... we need to be extra careful to keep each other's feelings in mind. A real person with real feelings is at the other end. This is exactly why I traveled to Nationals last year. To make sure I could make that connection rock solid in my mind.

Being respectful to each other doesn't mean that we can't have these tough discussions, just that we need to keep the Golden Rule in mind while we do. Ladies, please, please, please, before posting, just ask yourself, "What Would Malts Do?"
 

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I know how you feel Rebecca. Believe me, I do. One thing is for sure. You really need to have a thick skin around here. Please don't let a few people ruin it for you. Treat SM like a cafeteria. Take what's good for YOU and leave the rest alone. I sincerely hope you stay.
 

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Please reconsider and do not leave. I don't like conflict or sniping behavior,either. But, there are a lot of very good people on this forum,too. Just try to ignore the offensive comments- or just read the fun threads!! People say things in the heat of the moment that I'm sure they later regret. I wish some members were not so quick to "jump" on others. We've had a few threads like this on the Havanese Forum which have caused hurt feelings and has caused members to resign.Some come back- some do not. Why don't you stay a little longer and see what happens?
 

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What I've learned in the past few years, is that to belong to a forum, you have to have a thick skin. There are people on this board from all over the world. We are like a big huge family. Sometimes we fight, and then later, we make up. In the process, people get hurt, but some other times, people grow closer together because of it. Stick around and see what happens now and then. Sometimes we all pull together to support each other. When people jump down your throat, its not personal. A lot of times, they forget about the people behind the pups, and only have the pups in mind. It's like this on any forum. Newbies always have a hard time of it, escpecially if they are defensive or especially sensitive. Please stick around. Post lots of cute pictures of your puppies. People are probably less likely to criticize if they can relate to your pups by seeing them a lot. That's just my forum advice
 

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Differences between friends can happen both in person and in forums. That being said, the best thing to do is not to jump into controversial topics if you are not comfortable doing so and if you are then be prepared for what may come. I have been here for 3 years and still consider myself a newbie but I have made some good friends here and have found a lot of support and encouragement from all. Leaving is your choice but I would encourage you to stay.
Well said Erin. Rebecca - I hope that you don't decide to leave. I sometimes think of SM as a family. A big, dysfunctional family, just like most families are. Like a family, there's a vast array of people and opinions, a vast degree of knowledge and a lot of personalities who express themselves in different ways. I know people who have families like this and say, "I haven't spoken to so and so in years" and never talk to that family member again. I try to figure out the best way to keep my family together and know whom I listen to, whom I shouldn't and whom I would trust my life to. I try not to let the other stuff get to me. It just isn't worth getting into an argument with the cousin who always thinks she's right...too much energy wasted. So that's SM to me. One big, happy, dysfunctional family that I love and know I can come to for help.

I'm a new Maltese owner, only a year, and I do listen to the opinions here. I listen to them and then decide what's right for me. You said how much you trust your vet who has been doing it for 20 years. Then my feeling is why ask vaccine questions here? You answered this yourself -- you are listening to her and have utmost faith in her. That's terrific. I trust my vet, but know that sometimes vets mainly treat bigger dogs and Maltese have certain issues. So I look for more input here. For vaccines she splits the time between every vaccine by a few weeks for me (her idea as well as here) and only charges for the shot not office time.So it was advice I got her agreeing with her. That's what guides me. And here's part of why I do that. When my DS was diagnosed with a life threatening ailment, his pediatricians who had been in practice for 20 years, prescribed an adult dose of medication and didn't inform me of when to use it correctly. He had another episode two weeks later and almost died again. I found a specialist, then joined a non-profit informational group and a support group. Those moms and dads knew SO MUCH MORE than the medical community it could make your head spin. So I blend the two. We still go to doctors but I've also learned many great tips from parents that have helped my DS thrive.

I've made good friends here on SM (as you can tell by my lunch with Tammy)and I treasure their support, friendship, laughter and advice. We don't live in an ideal world, especially one in which everyone agrees or is even nice about it. I think we all need to learn how to navigate the best road for ourselves. I agree that there have been times when people jump down people's throats and that isn't the way to educate anyone but I think most people do that out of passion for dogs and hatred of puppy mills more than to make someone feel bad. I often don't like the tone of things and say so, other times I just don't get involved.

We all have to make our own choices in life and a forum in one. I hope you, your wife and two little ones will stay with us but if you choose not to do so, I wish you nothing but health and happiness.
 

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Thanks, Sue...I needed that pep talk too..... :D

Well said Erin. Rebecca - I hope that you don't decide to leave. I sometimes think of SM as a family. A big, dysfunctional family, just like most families are. Like a family, there's a vast array of people and opinions, a vast degree of knowledge and a lot of personalities who express themselves in different ways. I know people who have families like this and say, "I haven't spoken to so and so in years" and never talk to that family member again. I try to figure out the best way to keep my family together and know whom I listen to, whom I shouldn't and whom I would trust my life to. I try not to let the other stuff get to me. It just isn't worth getting into an argument with the cousin who always thinks she's right...too much energy wasted. So that's SM to me. One big, happy, dysfunctional family that I love and know I can come to for help.

I'm a new Maltese owner, only a year, and I do listen to the opinions here. I listen to them and then decide what's right for me. You said how much you trust your vet who has been doing it for 20 years. Then my feeling is why ask vaccine questions here? You answered this yourself -- you are listening to her and have utmost faith in her. That's terrific. I trust my vet, but know that sometimes vets mainly treat bigger dogs and Maltese have certain issues. So I look for more input here. For vaccines she splits the time between every vaccine by a few weeks for me (her idea as well as here) and only charges for the shot not office time.So it was advice I got her agreeing with her. That's what guides me. And here's part of why I do that. When my DS was diagnosed with a life threatening ailment, his pediatricians who had been in practice for 20 years, prescribed an adult dose of medication and didn't inform me of when to use it correctly. He had another episode two weeks later and almost died again. I found a specialist, then joined a non-profit informational group and a support group. Those moms and dads knew SO MUCH MORE than the medical community it could make your head spin. So I blend the two. We still go to doctors but I've also learned many great tips from parents that have helped my DS thrive.

I've made good friends here on SM (as you can tell by my lunch with Tammy)and I treasure their support, friendship, laughter and advice. We don't live in an ideal world, especially one in which everyone agrees or is even nice about it. I think we all need to learn how to navigate the best road for ourselves. I agree that there have been times when people jump down people's throats and that isn't the way to educate anyone but I think most people do that out of passion for dogs and hatred of puppy mills more than to make someone feel bad. I often don't like the tone of things and say so, other times I just don't get involved.

We all have to make our own choices in life and a forum in one. I hope you, your wife and two little ones will stay with us but if you choose not to do so, I wish you nothing but health and happiness.
 

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When I first joined I described my last two as rescues. I felt they were rescues since I rescued them from a date w/ the needle. The latest owner was going to have them euthanized since she didn't want them any more and they had bad teeth...her fault,never took them to the vet...

I said my one male wasn't neutered and I got jumped on for having an intact male,they asked how could I get a male from rescue and it not be neutered. Plus I got the breeding lecture,when I had no intention of studding him.

I should have called them adoptees...did I know that ...no. Was I upset at such a reaction,being new....yes... I was.
Every forum I've ever been on,or discussion group is the same, you have people who forget to look at the newbie destinction and temper their responses w/ a little kindness.

I stayed because more wonderful people than nasty ones made me feel like it was worth it to stay.
I learn something new all the time and find new products and once in a while to my surprise I actually have something to share that benefits someone else.

Sometimes I think of forums,like an army unit,even if you're new,seems like you gotta hit the ground running,not much of a learning curve. But when you join ,you soon find out why, people on this board,love fluffs and see the pain,devistastation of irrisponsible breeding and forget, they too were in the same spot we were at one time too.


Abused,neglected,abandonned ,injured dogs all bring out a passion in folks..sometimes they forget ,in their zeal about fluffs,they forget about compassion for others...

Kinda like a church,you're all there for one purpose,but not everyone will like each other,but if you get sick, people tend to put that aside when your name ends up on a prayer chain.

We've had people sign up on the forum under 2 or 3 different identities and make up wild stories for attention,get folks upset worrying about some nonexistant fluff and find out it was just that person's weird fantasy,so people do get a little synical and wrongly assume some odd looking post could be another "troll".

As for the rabies at 4 months ,that discussion has come up before,strong opinions abide still. If it's the law and your vet recommends it,it's a tough call. But no one has the right to criticize you on it.

A vet can make mistakes,they can miss things and some,a very few,can just be money grubbing scum bags.
But I think most are pretty honest and compassionate. That's hard for me to say since I lost my Buffy to a money grubbing vet.

Hugs
 

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??? This over the vaccinations thread?

One thing you will discover is that in the world of passionate dog lovers there are a few topics that will generate definite discussion *sometimes even heated* ... vaccinations may be one of these areas, backyard breeding another, even the kind of FOOD you feed your dog, etc etc

The best thing to do is not take comments personally - realize that people who bother to post on forums such as these are very dog loving and very passionate about their little 'furkids' - and then read, read, read and google, google, google and ask your vet. Then make up your own mind.

I don't think telling people they are judgmental because they have a very strong opinion on a certain topic is going to change things around here... and please also remember that you lose tone and other things in the written word...what may sound judgmental is probably just someone who is trying to tell you they feel very strongly about something and want you to think strongly about their words. Of course, you don't have to agree, but they just want to underscore their thoughts and maybe aren't as graceful with their typed words as would be ideal. I know it's happened to me online and I'm a very happy nonjudgmental person in real life.

My advice, stay if you think it's best, leave if you think it's best but whatever you do take life a bit more lightly...especially online...it's a lot more enjoyable that way :)
 
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