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Discussion Starter #1
I got this off another forum I frequent. It's priceless.

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Subject: THANKS A BUNCH

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

1. I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

2. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

3. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

4. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

5. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

6. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

7. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

8. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaeda in disguise.

9. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

10. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from heck with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

11. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogen they contain will
turn me gay.

12. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

13. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

14. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

15. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

16. Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!


I will now return the favor......If you don't send this e-mail to at least
1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on
your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will
infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a LAWYER!.


Thanks and have a wonderful day.
 

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I love it!! SOOOO funny.

I have an acquaintance who sends me all sorts of junk email... I've gotten to the point when I see her name and the subject, I don't even waste time opening it.

If anyone ever wants to check out the validity of any claims in an email go to Snopes - Check Out Chain Emails. Just key in the "claim" you're trying to find out about and you can find out all sorts of info on whether it is true or not, when the chain got started, how it has morphed, etc.
 

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841 Posts
Originally posted by NC's Mom@Apr 22 2005, 04:09 AM
I got this off another forum I frequent.  It's priceless.

--------------

Subject: THANKS A BUNCH

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

1. I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

2. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

3. I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

4. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

5. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

6. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

7. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

8. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaeda in disguise.

9. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

10. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from heck with calls to
Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

11. I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogen they contain will
turn me gay.

12. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

13. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes
(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

14. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

15. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

16. Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!


I will now return the favor......If you don't send this e-mail to at least
1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on
your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will
infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to
a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a LAWYER!.


Thanks and have a wonderful day.
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What a great one love it
I to have a friend that send me all kinds of stuff half the time I don't even open it shhhhhhh
 

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Oh man
it got to the point i created a new email and only gave the address to like 3 people becuase everyone was sending me so much stuff like that.
 
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