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<span style="font-family:Optima">Pregnant woman
A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!"

She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise."

"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew. " </span>
 

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<span style="font-family:Optima">A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
She is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the heck is anal glaucoma


"I can't see my ass coming into work today </span>
 

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Discussion Starter #3
<span style="font-family:Optima">PEDRO

Pedro was driving down the street in
a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking
place.

Looking up toward heaven, he said
"Lord, take pity on me. If you find
me a parking place I will go to Church
every Sunday for the rest of my life
and give up drinking."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Pedro looked up again and said, "Never
mind. I found one." </span>
 

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<span style="font-family:Optima">A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that
She is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice.

"What the heck is anal glaucoma


"I can't see my ass coming into work today </span>

<div align="right">index.php?act=findpost&pid=111102

Those were GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Next years Miss America contest will only have 49 states represented. No one wants to wear the sash that reads.............I DA HO
 

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Even tho I am a loyal democrat, I loved the Clinton one! LOL
 
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