Originally posted by Triste@Jan 26 2005, 01:06 PM
I just wanted to add that you are making a generalization about parents. I know there are good teachers out there...but there are bad ones as well and I will not take whatever a teacher says as strictly true. I will never agree to what a teacher says as 100% until I hear all sides. Teachers do what they can but they can also facilitate in making the kids have FUN while learning. Too much pressure can make these kids implode. I have never once been dellusional about my kids' behavior...no child is perfect and I agree w/ the punishment usually...but an afterschool for something of the nature I described is a bit extreme. I had one teacher tell the kids that they weren't their to be their friend...Ok, so maybe that's true but don't you think there is a nicer way of saying it? There HAS to be a balance. Parents know their kids well and if some (note I say SOME) teachers would listen to what a parent is trying to say...then perhaps the best result for the child will happen.
oh, and I do think that sometimes the punishments ARE too harsh for what the incident is. Ya I agree they need order but not straightjackets
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I didn't mean to generalize
!Oh believe me...there are still GREAT parents out there...and I PRAISE them whenever I get the opportunity...and the funny thing is...you can almost pick out the students that have the involved and caring parents in a heartbeat...
I know your son is junior high, so this is from the junior high perspective-It IS possible to still have fun and cover the objectives, it just takes some extra preparation and creativity on the teachers' parts. Many times the kids are much more responsive to the more interesting/creative lessons. BUT-I know many teachers...(and sometimes I feel the same way)...say that often times, the students' behavior during a less structured activity ruins the fun/learning aspect of it, and they nix it because it is not worth having to deal with the discipline problems. Also, I don't know about all states and school systems...but in our schools, the students still have an outlet of PE or playtime at least once a day in the elementary and junior high.
I also agree that there are awful teachers out there too...I am quite familiar with some. The kids don't have a chance...I get to hear the complaints from the kids about it quite often...it is really hard sometimes to keep my mouth shut and just listen to them when I know they have legitimate complaints. I just tell them to take it up with the principal or guidance counselor...I can listen, but I can't take sides. My students don't always agree with my decisions about classroom rules/procedures/consequences...but they are aware of the expectations, whether they agree with them or not...and they know that above all, I am FAIR and CONSISTENT...and especially with junior high kids, this is VERY important. I am also not afraid to change the rules and expectations in mid-stream if something is not working. Every group of students is different and what works for one year, may not work for another.
I do agree that the punishment for the name calling etc., did seem a little over the top, but not knowing what else had been going on-it is really hard to tell. Maybe there had been major instances of this recently...and it had already been addressed? Maybe not, and she just over-reacted. In either case, I would not have punished solely on the word of "hear-say". Most of the time, if I don't see it/hear it/catch it...with my very own eyes/ears...then I don't dole out individual punishment. Sometimes, a student will honestly confess when questioned, but most of the time they just cover their tails to keep themselves out of trouble..ha ha..
I laughed at the "I am not here to be your friend" statement...because I have told my kids before that I am not there to win a popularity contest, that I am there to be their teacher, and that I am adult and they must respect that. Most of my students respect and like me-which is a GREAT feeling, but I don't lose sleep at night over the ones that don't. Most of the ones on that list are the ones that are constant problems and I am on there case about one thing or another all the time.
I guess the respect, or lack of it..is one of the major problems that I have to deal with...and I don't deal with it well at all. Part of how I was raised too! But last year, I had a student call me a B**** out loud in class because he was talking constantly during instruction. After 3 warnings, I finally asked him to move to another seat. He got mad (as if I had been unfair
) and called me a "B****"! The other kids gasped!

I saw FLAMES!
I sent him OUT! I was so angry I was shaking, I couldn't even fill out the discipline report. He got in-school-suspension for three days for it...and I never got an apology.
This year, when I was giving the rules to the classes at the beginning, I added that to my list of things that they "shouldn't do"!
I tell them they can THINK whatever they want, but that it CANNOT leave their mouths! Ha ha...
Anyway, I understand your frustrations...it sounds like you are caring and involved