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Hi all,

Well, we got back home late last night. We drove the mustang about 2,000 miles. It took us three days to get back, but thank the Lord, we made it safely! We saw our son, Erik, twice. It wasn't the best visit, but it was okay considering everything he's put us through. The first time we saw him he seemed really down. Thankfully, he didn't give us any arguements about taking the car. He was really thin and didn't look healthy at all. He told us where the car was and went with us to pick it up. We had to take it and have two new tires put on it and give it an oil change. This cost almost $300 we hadn't planned on, but what could we do? He said he was going to stay in the town were the base is and try and work things out with the girl. We aren't sure this is the best thing, but it is up to him, not us. We told him he would always have a home with us, but that if he wanted to come home things would have to be different. He didn't say much and didn't even ask us or his little sister about anything. That upset my daughter and myself, but we know he's not thinking about us, only about the girl. At least he was safe. He said he is taking an antidepressant and going to counseling, which is good, I guess. Two days after that my other son flew out to Seattle and met us there. He was worried about his brother and wanted to go see him. On Sunday we all went to visit him not knowing how it would go. It was okay. Although things were awkward and a little uncomfortable, his was polite and we talked for a while. Finally, his girlfriend came out of the bedroom and said hello. I told her that I thought we should put everything behind us and move forward. She wasn't very friendly and didn't say much, but that was okay. I really don't think things can work out for them in the long run, but only time will tell. She's not the kind of girl I pictured as the type that would fit in with our family, but who knows. I hope I'm not sounding harsh, it's just that my husband and I had always hoped our children and their spouses would be part of our loving family that gets together often and enjoys each other's company. So, being the dreamer I am, I still hope he will find someone else that is warm, loving, and wants to spend family time with us, but I know that's for him to decide, not us.

My birthday was on Monday, and although Erik didn't call, it was a beautiful day! My husband, daughter, and my oldest son spent it with me. We saw much of Seattle and went down to the beach. I fed the seagulls and we had a lovely dinner there. Since I live in the desert southwest I love going to the ocean and spending time there.

I found the wonderful birthday wishes many of you sent! THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOME OF MY HEART!!! They mean more to me than I can express, and so do all of your warm wishes and many prayers about my family problems. I know in my heart that all those prayers and thoughts made a difference last weekend when I started feeling down. I knew others were thinking of my family and me and wishing us well, and even though I cried about my son, I was wrapped in wonderful thoughts here at SM and that helped tremendously!!! Thank you all!!!


We will now have to fix the car and sell it asap, but at least we won't have to worry about our son driving drunk, wrecking it, and possibly hurting someone. That is a big weight off our shoulders, thank God. We don't know what else to do for him except pray and hope he will come around some day and want to be a loving part of our family.

Princess was with us the whole time! She was a complete angel! However, now that we are home it's a completely different story which I will write in another post. I need help and advice about that, so please write if you want. I will title that post: "Princess is too spoiled...HELP!!"

I apologize if this post is a not as well written as I would like it to be, but I'm pretty tired and my ankles/feet are REALLY swollen after sitting in the car so long. Hopefully, after a couple days rest I'll be much better.

LOTS OF LOVE AND TONS OF

Fredda
 

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Hi Freda, it is good to see that you are home safe and sound. I think you should now move on and enjoy the family you have there with you now and just be there for Erik in spirit. Who knows maybe one day he may surprise you and either call or just drop in and once again become the son you want him to be, but for now you should rest knowing you have done your very best for him.
As for spoiled little Malts, I know all about that, I have one right here with me. It is very hard to not spoil them, they are so sweet and loving, cheeky and stubborn, the list could go on but I am sure you know it all.
Anyway I just want to say welcome home, and I am so pleased you had a lovely birthday, you deserve it.
Take care, Janet.
 

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Glad you had a safe trip.
Stay positive and keep praying. It will all work out!
 

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Being a parent is the toughest job out there...and honestly I think it gets harder as your children grow. I really feel for you and all that you've been through. I think, for what it's worth, that you and your husband are doing the right thing. You've left the door open for your son and it is up to him to decide what to do with his life. It doesn't mean you love him any less or care any less about his situation. I hope your days get easier and that your other children don't suffer because of your son's problems. I really wish you happiness and peace and I am sure that everything will work out.
 
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