[NC's Mom]

Which is the worst?

Your dog dying suddenly without your having a chance to say goodbye but without experiencing a lot of pain or discomfort...

OR

Your dog dying a slow death (lasting a week or so) with pain and discomfort, but you get a chance to prepare and say goodbye...

OR

Your dog dying a slow death that lasts months with some good days and some bad days, with the good days becoming more and more infrequent, but you get a chance to prepare and say goodbye, but you have to watch the pain and constantly wonder if you should just let go.

Yeah, I'm being morbid. This is prompted by another thread....and I hope the OP doesn't read this thread because I know it certainly wouldn't be helpful to her. I just can't help wondering what I would do if I were in any of the above situations. Those kind of things were running through my mind while I was waiting for the results on the heartworm tests my dogs had a couple of days ago. Both tests came back negative, but my imagination is rich and it kept going long after the test results came in.

In some ways, I'd prefer to go before my dogs because I don't want to endure their deaths. Then again, I want to be the one who cares for them for their entire lives. Perhaps we'll get lucky and we'll all three get wiped out at the same time?

Which smilie would be appropriate to express the idea of being morbid?

 

[Holliberry]

hmm, I dont know if you really wanted an answer but... I was through the last one and I was wishing for my little girl's sake that she had gone on her own, quickly, even if it meant no warning. No warning would have been better than me and the memories of those horrible last few weeks and then having to make the decision on top of all that to end it for her

so very sad.

 

[ButterCloudandNoriko]

I think the best would be them experiencing the least pain. If they died a quick death due to a disease, maybe I can find closure just simply holding them one last time and just saying whatever I had to. But who knows...if the day ever comes, and I hope it never does, than we'll see. I am at a normal state of mind right now (I think), so I can be a better judgement of this situation, but who knows how hard and sad it TRULY will be when that day has to come.

Great...now I'm crying

 

[puppylucy]

i'm not sure if this was a rhetorical question but

maybe i'm selfish, but i'd want to have some last 'good days' with her, so i could remember them and make them special.

 

[k/c mom]

I guess it depends on the quality of life and what the situation is. My first Maltese, Rosebud, had congestive heart failure and her last year (age 12) or so was not the best for her. And it was very stressful for me worrying about her constantly and practically living at the vet's. But as bad as it was, for me, it was better than if she had dropped dead at age 10.

 

[Scoobydoo]

This is a difficult subject to face, but a good one too.
As painful as it would be, and very difficult a dicision to make, I would rather not let Scooby suffer just to keep him with me. I love him with all my heart and that is why it would break my heart to watch him go through pain constantly.
I have been down this road twice before with two other dogs, and both times I had to make that very difficult decision. It broke my heart both times but at least now when I look back I know that because I loved them so much, I saved them from endless suffering.
I guess what I am saying is if there is no chance of a good recovery without constant pain then the best thing for your beloved pet is to allow them to go to sleep peacefully, to me that is kinder and more loving than putting them through agony every day of the rest of their sweet little lives.

 

[k/c mom]

Originally posted by scrappy+Jun 4 2005, 12:21 PM-->

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@Jun 5 2005, 01:02 AM
I think it depends on the situation, each is different.
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I agree.
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Yes, I do agree, also. There are so many variables. When my Rosebud was sick, I remember thinking that a particular day was "it" as she seemed to be feeling so awful. Then I'd take her to the vet just to be sure there wasn't something else we could do.... so he would give her a shot or another medicine and she'd snap back to her old self and I would be so glad I hadn't euthanized her. Over time, unfortunately, we ran out of options....

 

[pico's parent]

I don't think you are being unneccessarily morbid.....it's a thought i have from time to time as I have been through this with a number of pets already but none was as close to me as Pico is so I know letting him go is going to be the most traumatic thing I've faced with pets.

So, am I going to be rational in my decision making when the time comes? Probably not and therein lies the rub. Hopefully I will have a good support group like you all when the time comes many years from now who will help me do the right thing at the right time if necessary.

As to which is the best way for Pico to die? I won't have that choice as it is in God's hands alone so I don't think about that aspect. Just for the grace to do the best, right thing for my best buddy.

Where's that crying emoticon when you need it?

 

[dhodina]

*** This is only my opinion please do not take offense it is not intended***


I would want him to go quickly and quietly. If it came down to I knew he was in pain or not living the quality of life that he is used to then I would put him to sleep. Watching him suffer or slowly go down hill just to give myself a few extra weeks with him isn't kind to me. At the same time I hope I just fall over dead one day I don't want people to watch me waste away and watch everyone I know pass on. I wish it was legal for us to be put to sleep.

 

[msmagnolia]

I guess that my answer is a combo. My cocker spaniel was 14 when she stopped eating. She had gone to the vet regularly her whole life, but I had missed the signs that she was drinking a lot of water, etc. She was having some incontinence, but I chalked this up to aging. I took her to the vet and she was in the late stages of kidney disease. Long story short I had to decide almost on the spot if I should let them put her in the hospital and do some intense IV treatments to buy about 4 months. If I didn't want to do that she needed to be euthanized. Several tearful phone calls later we decided to euthanize. She was scared to death of the vet and I didn't want her final days to be full of fear. She and I went home for one night, she slept fine, and then next day my neighbor took me to the vet. (Of course my husband was out of town). I got to say goodbye, but it didn't linger for days and days. Looking back, it was the probably the best way - old dog, pretty quick, got to say goodbye. The vet was wonderful and there was no hope for her to live a much longer life. I would have only bought a few months.

 

[lani]

Originally posted by dhodina@Jun 6 2005, 07:32 AM
I would want him to go quickly and quietly.  If it came down to I knew he was in pain or not living the quality of life that he is used to then I would put him to sleep.  Watching him suffer or slowly go down hill  just to give myself a few extra weeks with him isn't kind to me. 
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I'm totally with you on this. I don't want to keep my baby alive for my selfish reason. If she's in so much pain, I don't want her to go through with it.

 

[NC's Mom]

Well, now of COURSE I say that I wouldn't be selfish and would let them go, but I don't know if I could be that strong if that time actually came. And how do you rate when the pain is intolerable? I've got two dogs that do not show pain. Little C actually wags her tail and kisses the vet WHILE he is giving her a shot that he had warned would be painful. Sir N ran around on a knee that was so bad that the vet yelled at me for not realizing that he needed treatment months, if not a year ago. But, he had never whimpered, limped, or anything.

So, I wonder about my ability to judge in they are in pain severe enough that they would be better off saying goodbye. I worry that I would think it's not so bad and continue to have them fight to live when in reality, they are in agony.

Plus, I worry that I would end up being incredibly selfish. I can see myself saying to the vet that it was time to say goodbye, and then sitting there in his clinic, holding them and crying and refusing to let him get near, and yet still feel like I was doing the right thing because I was IN the vet's clinic and not being logical enough to realize that time and pain doesn't stand still just because you are in the vet's clinic............................

Basically, I don't trust myself.

 

[Puddles Mom]

My biggest fear is to loose Puddles. I can't even begin to think of life with out him. I don't want him to suffer and be in pain, will be a hard decision. But will do whats best for him.

If he's ever to be put to sleep, he will be in my arms, rocking him and singing to him softy as we do so many night.

Okay, now I have tears running down my face....going to love on my fur ball.

 

[lani]

Originally posted by NC's Mom@Jun 6 2005, 03:05 PM
Well, now of COURSE I say that I wouldn't be selfish and would let them go, but I don't know if I could be that strong if that time actually came.  And how do you rate when the pain is intolerable?  I've got two dogs that do not show pain.  Little C actually wags her tail and kisses the vet WHILE he is giving her a shot that he had warned would be painful.  Sir N ran around on a knee that was so bad that the vet yelled at me for not realizing that he needed treatment months, if not a year ago.  But, he had never whimpered, limped, or anything. 

So, I wonder about my ability to judge in they are in pain severe enough that they would be better off saying goodbye.  I worry that I would think it's not so bad and continue to have them fight to live when in reality, they are in agony.

Plus, I worry that I would end up being incredibly selfish.  I can see myself saying to the vet that it was time to say goodbye, and then sitting there in his clinic, holding them and crying and refusing to let him get near, and yet still feel like I was doing the right thing because I was IN the vet's clinic and not being logical enough to realize that time and pain doesn't stand still just because you are in the vet's clinic............................

Basically, I don't trust myself. 

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You have a very good point! I wouldn't know how much pain my baby's going to be in. Now I don't know either.