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I have to make a decision for my youngest son, Jackson. He will be turning 6 in July and is just finishing up kindergarten. (Our cut off in GA is Sept 1st, so Jackson is in the running with being the youngest in his class) I think he has done very well this year. BUT, I just have this feeling they are going to want to hold him back.

Why? I feel that it's because he isn't reading and knows about half of his sight words.

Now, he is the first of my boys that I actually did full time pre-k with at the age of 4. Yet, my oldest 2 boys were also recommended to repeat kindergarten and they didn't do pre-k at all. Which I ended up doing with both older boys.

My husband is against it and I am sorta upset about it, but kind of expected it, just knowing the tract record with the school. I really hate this one size fits all education system and I know a lot of it is in part of this NCLB act. I mean really, I feel they expect way to much out of kids at such a young age.

Olivia is hitting pre-k full time at their school next year- (both Olivia and Jackson got lucky and got into one of the twenty slots available for the GA lottery funded pre-k at their elementary school.) But I put her in a 3 yr old pre-school twice a week, mainly for the socialization. And she has pretty much learned what Jackson learned in pre-k. So at least she will have a bigger head start!

I am really,really thinking about forgoing ever going back to work for the next 15 yrs and going back to homeschooling. :unsure: :smilie_tischkante:
 

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I know it's hard but I would just ask yourself - do you think he is ready for first grade, other than the reading? He will be one of the younger ones right? As he get older, do you think he'll like being the youngest of the class? I don't think I would!

When Marina started 1st grade, she was sooooo behind in reading but definitely has caught up!

Good luck with your decision! not an easy one to make, that is for sure :(
 

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Here we have the option of a "pre first" program which is a year in between K & 1st grade for kids who are not ready for 1st grade. My youngest DD just did it last year. She also has a late in the year b-day and also was born w/ a handicap that delayed her gross and fine motor skills.

My suggestion is that if your school district has any type of "in between" years program, take advantage of it. Not all the schools in our town do it. Fortunately, the one in our zone did so I did not have to deal w/ her having to change schools--it was already offered at her school. However, this school year it is not. It's decided yearly, by need basis. So were were lucky to take advantage of it when we did.

I would also schedule a conference with his teacher and guidance coulselor and have BOTH you and your husband attend. That way, the teacher and staff can give objective advice that your husband can be there to hear as well. Sometimes men will take advice from a 3rd party better than they can their wives :)

good luck in chosing what is best for him!
 

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I was born right before the cutoff and my parents struggled with the same decision. They decided to not hold me back. I dont think it was that big of a problem for me, I always felt special because I was younger and learning the same thing as the older kids. I think the only time it started to bother me was when I got into highschool. I didnt get to drive until right before my junior year and all my friends had been driving the year before. I didn't turn 18 until right before I got into college which kind of sucked too, I missed out on a few things because I wasnt old enough. I should probably mention that I went to private school my whole life so I had smaller class sizes and a more personalized attention. I guess in the end, I'm thankful my parents decided not to hold me back, I spent the extra year travelling in college to asia and europe!
 

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Only you and your husband can make the best decision for him because you know him the best and you are aware of his strengths and weaknesses in school. If you think he is too behind to catch up over the summer with either a tutor or you working with him, he should probably be held back. The early years are SO important for them to grasp on to, and if they miss something big, they will struggle each additional year.

I was always the youngest in my class -- started Kindergarten at age 4, and graduated high school when I was 17. Everyone else was 18 or 19. :) I would much rather be the youngest in the class than the oldest, that's for sure...but if I would have been behind after completing a grade, my parents would have held me back. The age is not important, it's the level your child is currently at, and whether or not they can catch up before the next school year begins. You are not a bad parent if you have him held back, and you are not a bad parent if you let him continue forward if he catches up. :)
 

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Right now is the time to hold him back. It's always better to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the younger ones. I taught first grade, and the older children generally had an easier time of it.

Our older daughter repeated kindergarten because of the cut off date being Sept 1. She has a Sept 3 birthday. We moved to VA the year she started 1st grade, and they had a later date for starting. She was a year older than many of the children in her class, and she will tell you right now that she's glad she was the oldest. She was a leader, not a follower. She was reading on the 4th grade level when she entered first grade. She really never struggled in school. Fortunately, the school ability grouped for reading, so she was moved up to a 4th grade class for reading. Honestly, I think it's even more important for a boy to be older. I wouldn't hesitate to keep him back for another year in kindergarten. Good luck, whatever you decide.
 

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I would much rather be the youngest than the oldest for personal reasons (I'm i the middle with an April birthday). I just know from watching others that when you are one of the oldest in the class, you get questioned about why you are older. Some may not feel comfortable explaining that they were held back and he could be made fun of or looked at differently.

Maybe instead, you could get a tutor or tutor him yourself.
 

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I was always the youngest in the class, too. I started Kindergarten when I was 4 and graduated at 17. I wasn't 18 until half-way through my first semester at college. I really loved being younger. I didn't mind not getting my license at the same time, because I had friends who could drive me around :) Plus, people assume you're "gifted" when you're the youngest ("wow..did you skip a grade?!) vs. "really? what, did you have to stay back or something?")

I really think kids blossom to fit their environment most times. You'll have all summer to work with him and spend some one-on-one time working with his reading. I've substituted in elementary school classrooms before and ALL classes have 'groups' of reading levels anyway, so even if he's in the lowest group, he will catch up eventually. It may just take him a bit longer. Either way, it's not as if he's going to end up not knowing how to read or something.

That being said, you obviously know your own situation better than any of us. Have you asked him what he would want to do? Sometimes kids would rather stay with the teacher they know/like for an extra year. Others are horrified and don't want to be separated from their friends. I would take into consideration the social/emotion toll on him, also.
 

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I'm not a proponent of holding kids back in kindergarten - it doesn't seem like the right time to do it as kindergarten is structured different than traditional grade levels. I would like to see kids move forward with their class and see if the different type of structure and instruction that they receive in 1st and 2nd grade allow them to "catch-up" so to speak.

Also, you have all summer to work on him with sight words. Put them on flash cards and review them 2x a day. Make it fun and do time tests - do them when he's on the swingset hanging upside down. Essentially, make learning them fun and not a stressful event. With 30 sight words it can be incredibly hard for kids to remember them all without constant and continued repetition.

I was one of the youngest in my class due to a July birthday (the 15th!). I was 5 in kindergarten, 6 in first grade, etc. and graduated just shy of my 18th birthday. It was never an issue for me meanwhile, I remember in high school there being jokes made about the one kid who was 19 and a senior (I didn't know him - I think it was due to his birthday and transfering but I don't know). I think being one of the older kids could be worse than being the youngest (I'm thinking when your in college and turning 21 before your peers!).

Another thing to consider is whether or not your child will play sports - usually rec sports are by birthday and not grade level so older kids are often shuttled to play with a kids their age which are usually a grade level up and not their classmates.

Its ultimatly up to you and your husband to determine together but I would not simply agree with the school because its what they think is best (what hidden agendas are present - are they needing to keep X number back due to class size/budgets); but it should be a discussion and a decision the family makes (and not based on what happened with your older two - your youngest is his own man!).

Best of Luck!!!!
 

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Right now is the time to hold him back. It's always better to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the younger ones. I taught first grade, and the older children generally had an easier time of it.

Our older daughter repeated kindergarten because of the cut off date being Sept 1. She has a Sept 3 birthday. We moved to VA the year she started 1st grade, and they had a later date for starting. She was a year older than many of the children in her class, and she will tell you right now that she's glad she was the oldest. She was a leader, not a follower. She was reading on the 4th grade level when she entered first grade. She really never struggled in school. Fortunately, the school ability grouped for reading, so she was moved up to a 4th grade class for reading. Honestly, I think it's even more important for a boy to be older. I wouldn't hesitate to keep him back for another year in kindergarten. Good luck, whatever you decide.
I agree with Mary Ann completely! I wasn't held back, but started late as the cut-off is September 1 and my birthday is September 22. I loved being one of the eldest in my classes. Both my brothers have summer birthdays and my mother held them both back and they both did fantastic. Neither of my brothers were ever questioned about being the oldest in their classes and neither was I.

I feel like it is better to be excelling in school than struggling and if being held back one year does that for a child, it is worth it in my book.


You know your son best and I know you will make the decision that is right for him.
 

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I'm not a proponent of holding kids back in kindergarten - it doesn't seem like the right time to do it as kindergarten is structured different than traditional grade levels. I would like to see kids move forward with their class and see if the different type of structure and instruction that they receive in 1st and 2nd grade allow them to "catch-up" so to speak.

Also, you have all summer to work on him with sight words. Put them on flash cards and review them 2x a day. Make it fun and do time tests - do them when he's on the swingset hanging upside down. Essentially, make learning them fun and not a stressful event. With 30 sight words it can be incredibly hard for kids to remember them all without constant and continued repetition.

I was one of the youngest in my class due to a July birthday (the 15th!). I was 5 in kindergarten, 6 in first grade, etc. and graduated just shy of my 18th birthday. It was never an issue for me meanwhile, I remember in high school there being jokes made about the one kid who was 19 and a senior (I didn't know him - I think it was due to his birthday and transfering but I don't know). I think being one of the older kids could be worse than being the youngest (I'm thinking when your in college and turning 21 before your peers!).

Another thing to consider is whether or not your child will play sports - usually rec sports are by birthday and not grade level so older kids are often shuttled to play with a kids their age which are usually a grade level up and not their classmates.

Its ultimatly up to you and your husband to determine together but I would not simply agree with the school because its what they think is best (what hidden agendas are present - are they needing to keep X number back due to class size/budgets); but it should be a discussion and a decision the family makes (and not based on what happened with your older two - your youngest is his own man!).

Best of Luck!!!!
I completely agree with Erin here.

I was the youngest in my class and my brother actually skipped a grade. I graduated at 17 and went to college 2 days after turning 18 and my brother graduated at 16 and went to college at 17. He was actually a sophomore in college when he turned 18.

Neither of us were ever made to feel strange or outcast because of our ages but I do remember everyone always assuming that the older kids must have failed a grade and thought it was strange to have kids graduating high school at 19 years old...they should be in college then, no?

But like everyone has said, you know your son, whether he is able to continue to go onto Grade 1 or not.

Good luck! It sounds like there are a lot of politics going on in the school system in the US.
 

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I think that only you know your child and can make this decision. My oldest now almost 19 was a December baby, which means he still would have been 4 when he started Kindergarten . I knew then that he was not ready so I waited till the following year and he was 5 when he started and then turned 6 that December. For us, it was the best decision . He excelled and did really well. It wasn't so much that I didn't feel he was ready academically , it was more for his maturity . Boys mature much more slowly than girls . My boys now are all fine and I am happy to say through the years have given me no trouble , they are good boys, thank God :p I knew a lot of parents that refused to wait and started their children and either their children struggled or in some cases were held back. I did notice that the girls usually were fine it was mostly boys that struggled, not all , but a lot of them. I personally think it's an advantage I know some don't, that is why it's important the parent knows before hand. Only you know your baby and can make the best decision.
Good Luck :thumbsup:
 

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Right now is the time to hold him back. It's always better to be the oldest in the class rather than one of the younger ones. I taught first grade, and the older children generally had an easier time of it.

Our older daughter repeated kindergarten because of the cut off date being Sept 1. She has a Sept 3 birthday. We moved to VA the year she started 1st grade, and they had a later date for starting. She was a year older than many of the children in her class, and she will tell you right now that she's glad she was the oldest. She was a leader, not a follower. She was reading on the 4th grade level when she entered first grade. She really never struggled in school. Fortunately, the school ability grouped for reading, so she was moved up to a 4th grade class for reading. Honestly, I think it's even more important for a boy to be older. I wouldn't hesitate to keep him back for another year in kindergarten. Good luck, whatever you decide.
Just saw your post, I could not agree more :thumbsup: People can not go on the premise thinking that oh people will say things cause my child is older or this or that, who cares? Do what is best for your child .. All kids are different and the last thing I would be worried about is what people think. Kids don't think like that, they think like oh your older and you get your car in junior year and you get to do this first and that first. Kids get over it, don't be worried about what kids may say, cause they forget what they say a second after they say it ..Lol
 

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About the oldest vs. youngest issue...

If your child is born late in the school year (which the OP says her child is and is the reason why MANY parents hold their kids back a year), age is not going to make one bit of difference. Her senior year of high school my daughter will be the same age as everyone else until about 6 weeks before graduation. TOTALLY not a big deal.

As a parent I'd much rather have my child held back and get the reinforcement than have to hope that they catch up--they might never and then you're dealing with struggling and tutoring for the next 12 years. I'd rather be the oldest than than the slowest acacemically. Again, it's totally an individual by individual basis. Just my 2 cents :)
 

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I'm not a proponent of holding kids back in kindergarten - it doesn't seem like the right time to do it as kindergarten is structured different than traditional grade levels. I would like to see kids move forward with their class and see if the different type of structure and instruction that they receive in 1st and 2nd grade allow them to "catch-up" so to speak.

Also, you have all summer to work on him with sight words. Put them on flash cards and review them 2x a day. Make it fun and do time tests - do them when he's on the swingset hanging upside down. Essentially, make learning them fun and not a stressful event. With 30 sight words it can be incredibly hard for kids to remember them all without constant and

Best of Luck!!!!
I agree 100% with Erin! I would explore other options such as hiring a personal tutor to work with him over the summer to develop his skills rather than holding a child back at this young age. Good luck!!!
 

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My daughter was held back in Kindergarten along with five or six more in her class back in 1981. She always did well and I never regretted it. They are so young they don't even remember it or think about it at that time. It was not a negative thing...I made them believe it will be more fun because this time around they will know all the answers!
 

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I agree 100% with Erin! I would explore other options such as hiring a personal tutor to work with him over the summer to develop his skills rather than holding a child back at this young age. Good luck!!!
But honestly at this young age they really have NO CLUE what is even going on. They still believe in Santa and the tooth fairy and that they will marry their daddy and live in their room when they grow up, lol. it's MUCH better for them all-around to be held back in those years than it is when they are older, have established friends/social lives/sports teams, etc.

Not to start a debate. But really, it's MUCH better to catch it when they are younger as opposed to older. Kindergarten is TOTALLY not the same as it was a few decades ago. It's fast, furious and serious these days. No more tying your shoes and drawing pictures. It's hardcore.
 

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But honestly at this young age they really have NO CLUE what is even going on. They still believe in Santa and the tooth fairy and that they will marry their daddy and live in their room when they grow up, lol. it's MUCH better for them all-around to be held back in those years than it is when they are older, have established friends/social lives/sports teams, etc.

Not to start a debate. But really, it's MUCH better to catch it when they are younger as opposed to older. Kindergarten is TOTALLY not the same as it was a few decades ago. It's fast, furious and serious these days. No more tying your shoes and drawing pictures. It's hardcore.
:thumbsup:
 

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I don't think oldest/youngest matter the most.

What matters the most is your child's cognitive development which is part of their unique makeup of traits.

If you think another year of kindergarten would be benificial for him to really understand written language better, then having him repeat is a good idea. If you don't think that he is going to get additional understanding, then no.

There are all sort of things kids need to mature with

cognitive understanding
social understanding
emotional understanding
etc

Each child has their own strengths and weaknesses, yk?
 

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Both of my children were young for their grade, One born the beginning of June and one the middle of July. Neither one of them ever went to any type of pre-school and didn't even know most of their alphabets when they started kindergarden. Neither one had a problem academically at school. They've both done very well in private school and my son has been in his High School's honor's program since his freshman year. He was also recently accepted to the honor's program at the college he will be going to this fall.

Only you know your child. They never cease to surprise or astound us with what they're capable of.
 
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