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What would you do?

2209 Views 28 Replies 23 Participants Last post by  Canada
I am a little short on time, so I will just give a very brief explanation.

A good friend of mine is getting married for the second time. Her first marriage was a quick one at the court house. This marriage is going to be a full blown extravaganza. She and the groom already have a child together who is four and recently diagnosed with Autism. There is a program that the state offers for children like him and he was accepted into it, however, she must pay $4,000 (it is actually like a $20,000 but the state picks up the rest).

She recently told me she isn't going to put him in the program because she doesn't have the money, BUT she is still planning on her wedding.

Myself, along with many other friends, are very upset over this. Yes, she can still cancel the wedding and get 90% of her money back, but she refuses.

If you felt as strongly as I do about this, would you go to the wedding?
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I would discuss it with her privately if you haven't already. If she is a good friend and she means a lot to you, then I see no reason why the two of you can't discuss it calmly and rationally. Perhaps you can help her see things in a different way.

If you've already discussed it with her, and you believe she is simply putting her own desires above her child's needs, then you have to weigh whether her friendship means more to you than your desire to see her child receive help. It's a tough decision. I don't envy you.
I agree with Suzan here.
Now that you've mentioned that she is a work acquaintances/colleague, to me that totally changes it. I wouldn't go..but I don't believe in going to work acquaintance weddings. We've turned down two weddings this year because I don't think it's good to mix work with life outside of work (it's totally different if you've been good friends for many years..but not with just acquaintances)...but that's just my position on things like that.
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