I also agree with Suzan. I don't know how much you have discussed with her. I would be very interested to know how she came to that decision, if other factors came in to the equation. Then I would go from there. Very sad.
The problem with not being close to the person and knowing all the facts is that the financial thing may have just been a throw away comment, but there could be many reasons why they have decided that it isn't for their child, the financial being only one of them. People are so quick to judge these days. Pontificating what they think is right. It is easy to do, but walking in someone elses shoes isn't. I don't think it is anyone's business if they hardly know the family. I am sure that the people close to them know the situation and would take a much stronger stand, and those are the ones that they really care about whether they come to the wedding or not.I agree although I can't really see a reason to why someone would throw a wedding party instead of taking care of his/her child who needs the financial support for that - just like you mentioned in the original thread: she will be able to afford if she didn't throw a party.
Nevertheless, there are two sides of every story. She might have the reason that I don't seenot really sure!