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What would you do?

2221 Views 28 Replies 23 Participants Last post by  Canada, 
M
I am a little short on time, so I will just give a very brief explanation.

A good friend of mine is getting married for the second time. Her first marriage was a quick one at the court house. This marriage is going to be a full blown extravaganza. She and the groom already have a child together who is four and recently diagnosed with Autism. There is a program that the state offers for children like him and he was accepted into it, however, she must pay $4,000 (it is actually like a $20,000 but the state picks up the rest).

She recently told me she isn't going to put him in the program because she doesn't have the money, BUT she is still planning on her wedding.

Myself, along with many other friends, are very upset over this. Yes, she can still cancel the wedding and get 90% of her money back, but she refuses.

If you felt as strongly as I do about this, would you go to the wedding?
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puppymom
This won't be a popular opinion but, is it really up to you to judge her behavior? I would agree with you that it's not the choice that you or I might make but it isn't your choice it's hers.

Staying away from the wedding isn't going to change that. If she is someone whose friendship you value (and true friends don't judge) then I would go to the wedding and not say anything unless she asks your opinion. If she isn't a good friend and you feel that strongly then I wouldn't go.
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puppymom
Malt Lover said:
Thanks everyone. I am really struggling with this decision. I guess I shouldn't have said that she and I are good friends, we are more good work acquaintances (we work closely and on a daily basis whether it is on the phone or face to face) and she is inviting me because she is inviting the whole department. Therefore, no, I do not feel comfortable confronting her in her decision. She has mentioned that she is having this large wedding because she never got to do the big "white-wedding" with her first marriage.


I agree wholeheartedly with you! You hit the nail on the head! What you stated is exactly the problem I am having. Do I judge her on how she choose to spend her money? This is a moral decision for me! I try to never judge anyone. What someone does it completely their own business, but this one really has me upset.

I often travel for my job, so I am going to try and schedule a business trip for that weekend.
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That does change things. As someone already said, you may not know the whole story. But even if you it is what it appears it really isn't something that you can or should do anything about (bad as you feel). I would simply send my regrets, no excuse needed, and not attend.

I also agree with iheartbisou, I try not to mix my work and personal life.

We often judge people without knowing the whole story and there may be many things going on in this persons life that you are not aware of.
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